


Here There Be Heathens

by ProdigyBlood



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Criminals, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kenny sleeps around, Lots of rednecks, Love Triangles, M/M, Random hookups, References to Depression, Smut, Sort Of, Supernatural Elements, Trans Butters, Tweek is dead, but lots of Creek too, emotinal confusion, imp tweek, it kinda breaks poor Tweek’s heart, lots of Twenny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-04-29 17:05:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 35,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14477292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProdigyBlood/pseuds/ProdigyBlood
Summary: Tweek’s an imp, Kenny’s an immortal. Together they go around tricking rednecks out of pocket. However, things start to go wrong when Tweek asks to return to his hometown, South Park, thirteen years after he died there. Long hidden feelings start to emerge between the two misfits but, when Tweek meets a handsome noirette who he seems to have an unexplainable connection with, confusion and chaos and broken hearts is ensured. ON HIATUS





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! There’s a few important things to take note before delving in. Firstly, although this is a post PC Principal South Park, this is **not** a PC South Park. For the sake of the story, for example, Skeeter is still very much the ‘We don’t take kindly to - ” Redneck that he’s been less and less of in recent years. 
> 
> Secondly, Kenny is not from South Park. His family doesn’t live there and he grew up elsewhere, which is why he doesn’t know anybody. Also, his immortality works differently in this than in canon. His body heals and he simply wakes up. Think more along the lines of Nathan in Misfits if any of you have ever watched that (you should if you haven’t because, man, it’s good!)
> 
> Thirdly, I came up with the inspiration for this because of Imp Tweek and Youth Pastor Craig. So, Tweek is an imp (horns and goat legs and all, when in Hell anyway) Youth Pastor Craig didn’t end up fitting into my story though, so he’s just... Craig. Haha
> 
> Without further ado... Kudos and comments are definitely encouraged, I love chatting to you guys <3

_It was dark, the kind of darkness that absorbed all light leaving nothing in its wake. The kind of darkness that would absorb you, too, if it could._

_Two children trembled together, a twist of limbs in the darkness. Their tiny hands griped each others tightly enough to hurt. The smaller child buried his head against the slightly larger’s shoulder, silently crying. Although they had been strangers, thrown together into this terrifying situation which neither was sure they would escape alive, they found comfort in one another now. They might not have anyone else but they had each other._

_That had to be enough._

_“Tell me again,” the smaller said, murmuring against the damp shoulder he’d been crying into so that his words muffled together. The other boy heard, though._

_“We’re gonna escape.” His voice was a little deep for a child his age. A little nasally. A little cracked and broken from dehydration and shattered spirits. “We’re gonna get out of here and find our families and then we’ll be best friends forever.”_

_“Forever,” the smaller boy repeated._

_“Forever,” the other agreed. He stroked a hand through his companions wild hair. Despite being seven, and despite being locked away in the dark without shampoo for so long, the locks were soft and fluffy, like babies hair. The taller boy found comfort in it like he might in a teddy bear. Sometimes he wondered what colour it was. They hadn’t seen one another’s faces even once. The taller boy had simply woken up in the cell instead of his bed one morning (or night, it was impossible to tell) and the other boy had already been there. He’d been there a while, he claimed, though he didn’t know how long. Long enough that all his bones could easily be felt when they touched each other. Long enough that he was wasting away, despite the meagre food they were supplied each day._

_Neither boy knew why they were here or what their captor wanted from them. They’d not been touched inappropriately. They’d barely even been spoken to. They were just… locked away, terrified and slowly starving as they waited for whatever was to come._

_They were waiting almost a month, in the end._

_By the time their captor came for them, they were weak, their little legs hardly supporting them. It had probably been intentional. A way to ensure they couldn’t escape. Except, having been locked up together had given them something their own prisons wouldn’t have. It had given them hope. It had given them each somebody to encourage and motivate them._

_They were weak. Their legs barely worked. They were little more than skin and bones._

But. 

_They were desperate._

_When the door opened and didn’t automatically shut again, the taller boy took his chance. He ran at their captor. The man was so much bigger than him. Bigger and stronger, but, if the smaller boy could escape then it would all be worth it. If even one of them could escape, they could send help. Perhaps they could both make it out of here after all. Perhaps –_

_A hand cracked against his cheek and he fell. There was a ringing in his ears as his head smacked heavily against the stone floor. A foot kicked him in the gut, sending him rolling away. Vision blurry, he spied the smaller boy, frozen with terror in the same place as he’d previously been. Why hadn’t he ran? They’d talked about this. They’d agreed!_

_“Run!” he managed to choke out. In the dim light that illuminated the room from the open door, he saw the boys eyes swivel towards him. They were huge and green, shimmering with fear. His soft, baby like hair was blond._ “Run.”

_The overly large, green eyes moved from the curled up boy on the floor to the large man, to the open door. His whole body shook and it was obvious that he’d missed his chance. Still, with a desperate scream, he tried for the exit._

_There was a flash of silver as the man easily caught the smaller boy around the middle. There was a whimper. The taller boy watched from his position on the floor, eyes wide and fearful as he realised what had happened._

_Something red dripped to the floor, splattering it. It was followed by more drops. More and more, until the little blond boy’s bare feet were standing in a puddle of his own blood._

_His green eyes sought out his friend and the taller boy could only stare as the light left them._

_Tears dripped from his own eyes as he watched the man lift the dead child into his arms. He didn’t spare the taller boy a second look as he left the room, and he didn’t close the door behind him._

_He finally had his shot at freedom but it had come at a great cost._

_It took him several hours before he climbed unsteadily to his feet and approached the open door, careful to avoid the puddle of congealing blood as he walked. He expected a trap. He expected the same knife that had killed his friend to suddenly find his own flesh._

_Nothing happened._

_Their captor had clearly gotten what it was he’d wanted. Whatever that might be._

_On shaky legs, he walked down the long corridor and found a door that led him outside and into the early morning daylight._

_He didn’t look back._


	2. How Many Hail Mary’s For Murder?

**Thirteen years later**

“I think you kids oughta get out of here.”

The burly man took a drag on his cigarette and peeked at the two blond’s from under his cowboy hat. His literal cowboy hat. People actual wore those in real life? He had a couple of days worth of stubble on his square jaw and aged tattoos decorated his muscular arms. His two friends, flagging him, were of equal muscular proportions. Compared to them, the two blonds really were just scrawny kids. 

The taller of the pair was just over six foot, lanky with messy, dirty blond hair complete with two pink streaks. He chewed on bright blue bubblegum, almost the same colour as his eyes, repeatedly blowing large bubbles which he chewed back into his pierced mouth. With his hands in his pockets and his slouched posture, he seemed to not have a care in the world despite the large men threatening them. 

His companion was over a head shorter, with light, fluffy blond hair that haloed his head in a wild mess. Unlike his taller friend’s casual demeanour, this blond was twitchy and seemingly uncomfortable with the confrontation they found themselves faced in. His huge, green eyes were squinting in the bright sun, the left one quivering slightly.

“S’that so?” Pop went the blue bubble before being chewed right back in. 

“We don’t want no trouble, kid.”

“Looks to me a lot like you do,” the taller blond said. He stopped blowing bubbles in favour of a sly smirk. His lip ring sparkled in the blistering sun. 

Mr. Thinks-he’s-a-cowboy peeled himself off of the trunk of his truck and took a threatening step closer. He was maybe mid forties, at least twenty years senior to the kids he was trying to scare out of town. 

“Look, you boys’ve caused a lot of trouble for us all. We just want you gone. There don’t need to be any bloodshed.” Behind him, one of his brawny friends cracked his tattoo covered knuckles. No bloodshed, huh? The taller blond side-glanced at his smaller friend. 

“What d’you think, Tweek? You reckon they’re just gonna let us walk away after what we did?”

“No way, man! Those – _rrrrrr_ – assholes want blood,” the twitchy blond quipped. 

“That’s what I thought,” pink hair nodded, tilting his chin in a curious manner as he regarded the three men. 

They were in Arizona, just a little outside the boarder of a small town. The place was like stepping back in time, all saloons and wanna be cowboys like the jackass threatening them. When the two blonds had arrived, the taller had queried as to whether they had accidentally travelled to _Westworld_. If it hadn’t been for the girls in short skirts that instantly caught the taller’s eyes, Tweek might have been inclined to agree with him. 

“Kenny,” Tweek hissed. The taller of the two nodded, as if he knew exactly what his friend was trying to communicate. 

“Now fellas,” the one called Kenny said. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. If you want us to leave, then we’ll leave.”

“You really gonna let ‘em just go, Bud?” the one with the knuckle tattoos asked, scowling. He was clearly raring for a fight, his threaded fingers cracking again as they twitched in anticipation. “The gay one fucked Mercy.”

“Clearly not gay if I fucked a girl,” Kenny chipped in, as if being helpful. “Actually, I’m pansexual. You rednecks know what that means?” 

“Means you’re the spawn of Satan,” the third man, who had been quiet up till now, said. He was looking at Kenny like he was something foul stuck to his shoe. He had a cross dangling around his neck, as if the piece of jewellery could disguise what an iniquitous asshole he actually was. 

“Not quite. Good try though. Ten out of ten for effort,” Kenny said, still smiling. 

“You bastard,” the cross wearing one growled, apparently not quite as stupid as he looked. His hand twitched at the gun in his back pocket.

“Sure way to blow off your buttocks, that,” Kenny noted. “I should know.” 

“Bud, these guys are just asking for a beating’,” Knuckles said, unsurprisingly cracking them loudly again.

“You’re lucky that doesn’t really cause arthritis,” Kenny nodded towards him. “Wouldn’t wanna ruin your beating hands.” 

“Kenny,” Tweek hissed again.

“I’ve got this, bro,” he said, turning back to face Bud. “You seem like a reasonable gentleman. You’re not gonna beat on a man half your age just for getting his balls wet, right? I mean, that Mercy was quite the looker. You can hardly blame a guy, right?” 

Knuckle’s eye twitched. 

“Now, Earl… ‘Member what your parole officer said,” Bud warned, although Bud looked a little red faced, too. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?” Kenny asked innocent, blowing another blue bubble. 

“Son of a – ” Cross had gone for his gun now, pointing it square at Kenny’s chest. Kenny blinked, a smile unfolding onto his lips.

“Guess I did, huh?”

“Mercy is Earl’s daughter you son of a bitch,” Cross said between gritted teeth. 

“Then why’s he not the one pointing the gun at me? You two got some back action going on?” 

Cross’ finger twitched against the trigger, his face bright red from anger. 

“Tweek, how many Hail Mary’s is it for murder?” Kenny asked calmly.

“A lot,” Tweek said, twitching slightly.

“A lot,” Kenny echoed. “You sure you’ve got the patience for that, big guy?”

“I wouldn’t try him, kid,” Bud said, ever the voice of reason. “Now, why don’t you two run along- ”

“Shut it, Bud. They ain’t going nowhere,” Knuckles – Knuckles suited him better than Earl, Kenny thought – said. 

“Yeah, Bud,” Kenny agreed. “We ain’t going nowhere.”

“Your funeral, kid,” Bud said, moving back to sit on the trunk of his truck again. He wiped a hand across his forehead, under the ridiculous hat, flicking the sweat to the dusty ground. 

“Here’s hoping,” Kenny said quietly enough that only Tweek could hear. The smaller blond finally cracked his own, little smile. Louder, Kenny said, “Say, you know you said I was the spawn of Satan?” Nobody answered. The gun didn’t waver from Kenny’s chest. “Well, I’m not. But I sure fucked that girl like I was.” 

“You –!!!” Knuckles launched himself at Kenny, knocking him to the ground. Disturbed dust danced around them as tattooed fists pummelled into Kenny’s handsome face, rendering it less handsome and more bloodied and bruised. Bud gave Knuckles a minute before sighing and walking over to pull the larger guy off, restraining him. Kenny sat up, spat blood onto the dust and smiled.

“That all you got?”

“Kid,” Bud said to Tweek. “Your friend got a death wish?”

“GAH! He’s just a moron. I’m sorry. We should – _nngh_ – go!”

“Go? Your no fun, Tweekers. I’m just getting to know our new friends, here.” 

“Let me go, Bud, I’m gonna kill him!” Knuckles was squirming in his hold, desperate to break free.

“You wanna go back to prison?”

“I don’t fucking care – ”

“You will when you’re there. Get out of here, kids. I won’t tell you again.” 

“Sorry Bud, but they ain’t going nowhere,” Cross said. He was sweating profusely and his hands trembled worse than Tweek’s. Still, he kept the gun pointed on Kenny, a look of determination in his eyes. 

“You haven’t got the the guts,” Kenny said, spitting blood onto the ground again. He went to wipe his mouth and Cross pulled the trigger. 

“Holy shit, Jim!” Bud said as Kenny fell heavily to the ground, blood pooling around him. Tweek was on his knees instantly, small hands pressing against the wound, trying to stanch the blood flow. Kenny’s body contorted under his hold, seizing. His blue eyes rolled back and blood trickled down his chin. 

“JESUS CHRIST! YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!” Tweek screamed at the three men gathered around them. Cross was panicking, waving the gun around and practically hyperventilating. Bud was trying to talk him into handing the gun over before he ‘takes someone’s goddamn eye out!’

“He’s dead,” Knuckles said quietly. Kenny had stopped fitting. His eye’s had glazed over. His blood splattered lips were already turning blue. “Holy fuck, Jim. You killed ‘im.”

“I didn’t mean- You were gonna… Shit. _Shit_!” The gun was still being waved around dangerously. At the scream that emitted from the small blond, however, it stilled and then pointed downwards. 

“What’re you doing, Jim?” Bud asked, trying to keep his voice calm and failing. 

“We can’t let him go. If we – if we kill ‘im too then… then…”

“He’s just a kid, Jim…”

The gun rounded on Bud. Cross’ eyes were manic. “I can’t go to prison, Bud. I can’t! We have to kill him!”

“I won’t tell…” Tweek spoke so quietly he wasn’t heard. He still held Kenny’s wound, as if it would do any good now. 

“Think about what you’re saying, Jim!”

“I can’t believe you fucking killed him,” Knuckles said.

“You were gonna!”

“Jesus, I wasn’t really! I just wanted to scare the bastard a bit! Now look what you’ve fucking done! We’ll all go down for this, y’know!”

“I won’t tell,” Tweek said louder this time. The three men all stopped arguing to stare at the small blond in disbelief. “If you pay me enough, I’ll never say a word.”

“An’ how can we believe that, huh?” Bud asked, his voice shaking a little. He was sweating a lot more than before, but now it had nothing to do with the sweltering heat. 

“Oh God… Hand me the gun,” Tweek said in a shaky voice. “I’ll – _nngh!_ – I’ll put my fingerprints over it, then you’d be able to pin it on me if I s-said anything.” 

“He’s got a point there,” Knuckles said.

Bud frowned. “How much are we talking, kid?”

“Ten thousand dollars,” Tweek said. “For ten thousand I’ll go and never come back or say a word. I swear.” 

 

Tweek Tweak nudged the body of Kenny McCormick with his foot, looking bored. It was still dead, little more than decoration at this point. Playing the part of a hysterical and mourning friend had been easy. Less easy had been convincing the dumbasses to let him deal with the body but they had been freaked out and Tweek could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. It was one of his ‘skills’ for lack of a better word. 

He glanced over to the dashboard of his pickup truck, not unlike the one Bud had been driving. The envelope of cash was still there, just where he’d left it. Not that there was anyone around for miles to steal the damn thing, but it put his mind at ease checking regardless. 

“Oh come on,” he growled, kicking the body at his feet this time. Time was ticking on and he was getting _damn_ impatient. 

“Ow,” a groan came from the ground. “Do you really have to kick me, man?”

“You were taking your damn time!”

Kenny McCormick sat up, his face flushed and bruise-less, and brushed some dirt off of his shirt, as if that was the only problem with the blood soaked item of clothing. “Yeah, well, you know I can’t control how long it takes. Did you get the cash?”

“Yup.” Tweek pointed a thumb to the dash and Kenny’s eye’s lit up greedily. 

“Like taking candy from a baby! Next time you get shot though, dude.”

“Like hell that’s happening,” Tweek said. Now that they were alone, his nervous disposition seemed to have vanished, though his hands still trembled a little. “Man, I could kill for a cup of coffee.”

“Well we’ve got plenty of cash for it now,” Kenny said, jumping to his feet. He stretched out his shirt in front of him, inspecting the damage. “Aw, man. This was a good top.”

“What do I keep telling you about wearing your nice clothes on kill days, man?”

“You’re not my mother.” Kenny poked his tongue out and climbed into the truck, behind the wheel. He waited patiently for Tweek to climb in shotgun. “Where to now, boss?”

“First things first, I need a damn coffee. Let’s go, man.”


	3. What Works For Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy! Our boys Tweek and Kenny get down and dirty ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you so much for the kudos/comments/bookmarks! This is doing far better than I expected already. I’ve had so much fun working on this fic the past week or so and I really hope it shows :) You guys are awesome!
> 
> I just thought I’d also add (as I know a couple of readers from over at my other fic are excited that I’m finally writing some Tyde) that although there _is_ Style and Tyde in this story, the characters won’t be showing for a while. I’m currently writing the scene where Clyde is introduced and that’s not until around chapter 11 or so. The main focus of this fic is _definitely_ Kenny/Tweek/Craig. 
> 
> Now, without further ado...

They found a cheap motel to spend the night in. Kenny had pouted as they’d driven past a five star hotel to find it, repeatedly bringing up the cash he’d just worked his ass off for. 

“I’m the one who has to have bullet’s rip into his flesh,” he said, grumbling. “Dude, you’d be nothing without me. Maybe you should remember that next time you refuse me my luxuries.” 

“Jesus Christ, Kenny,” Tweek said as they entered the small motel room. “We’ll stay somewhere nice when we get to our next location.” He dumped his empty takeaway cup on the suspiciously stained table and breathed a sigh of relief as he spied the coffee machine tucked against the wall. 

“Which is where?” Kenny asked. “You’ve not told me a thing yet, Tweekers.”

“That’s because you’re not gonna like it,” Tweek said, as he got to work with making coffee. Kenny narrowed his eyes. 

“Where’re you hauling my sweet ass this time?”

“Colorado.”

“Colorado?!” Kenny crossed his arms. “Damn it, Tweek! That’s like, a ten hour drive!”

“Twelve, actually.”

“Well, why the fuck are we going there? There’s gotta be hundreds of redneck town’s between here and there.” 

“There is,” Tweek said, turning away from the coffee machine and plonking his butt on the table to stare levelly at Kenny as he waited for the coffee to brew. 

“Then why the fuck aren’t we going to them?”

“Because.”

“Goddamnit, Tweek!” Kenny ran an exasperated hand through his hair. “What’s in Colorado?”

“South Park.”

“Ain’t that the town Damien hangs out in?” Kenny pulled his eyebrows together, frowning. 

“It’s also the town I died in.”

“Oh.” _Oh._ Okay, that made a lot more sense. “You wanna see your family or some shit?” 

“My family don’t live there anymore. Not in a long time. My mom actually slit her wrists a few months after they found me.” Kenny winced at how causally Tweek spoke about such things. He was also shocked, and a little hurt, that the coffee addicted imp had never thought to share that news with him before. He brushed it off. Tweek was entitled to his secrets. After all, Kenny had his fair share. 

“Then what -?” 

Tweek shrugged, twisting his head as the coffee machine pinged. Before he could move, Kenny strode over, fixing a mug for the smaller man and pressing it into his hands. “Thanks,” Tweek said, sipping the hot, black coffee, his eyes never leaving Kenny. “So, can we go?”

Kenny ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “Fuck it. Why not. Never been to South Park before.” He took the mug from Tweek’s hands and took a sip, wincing as it burned his tongue. Placing the mug to the side, he moved closer to the other blond, squeezing in between his legs. Tweek didn’t protest which Kenny took as affirmative to continue, placing his hands on the smaller man’s hips. 

“Thank you,” Tweek said as Kenny dipped his forehead against his. “For, y’know…”

“Hey, it’s your hometown,” Kenny said. “If you wanna go back, we’ll go back.” He moved his head, bringing his lips to Tweek’s neck and kissing the soft, exposed flesh. “Wait, we’re still gonna rob them blind, right?”

“Of course,” Tweek said, his eyes fluttering closed as Kenny resumed his kissing. His breath hitched as Kenny bit down, nipping the flesh playfully. “I’ve done my research, the town’s full of dumb rednecks.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” Kenny growled against his neck. Tweek laughed, hands moving to Kenny’s shirt to unbutton it. Chest exposed, Tweek ran his fingers down Kenny’s slim, muscular torso, lingering at the unblemished spot where Kenny had been shot, only hours before. 

“Does it hurt?” Tweek asked this every time.

“Can’t feel a thing,” Kenny said as he did each time the imp asked. “Feel free to kiss it better, though.” Tweek obliged, driving Kenny wild. With a growl, he pulled the smaller blond’s head up to crash their lips together. Tweek tasted of coffee and sweat. Despite it having been hours since he was resurrected, Kenny still had the lingering taste of iron on his tongue. For some reason, that always drove Tweek wild. He moaned against the larger man’s lips, hands finding the button of his jeans. As Tweek pushed at Kenny’s jeans, hands lingering on his ass, Kenny moved to de-trouser the imp, lifting him slightly so that he could shimmy out of the restraining item of clothing from his sitting position. Their lips barely parted during the entire time it took to undress.

It was like a post-death ritual of theirs. Kenny had to suffer through the pain of being killed while Tweek got to stand around unharmed, so, to make it up to him, Tweek let the taller blond fuck him after his resurrection. It wasn’t something they talked about at any other time, wasn’t something they’d come to a mutual, verbal agreement over. One day, after Kenny’s third or fourth death in their twisted partnership, it had just happened and the tradition had stuck. They didn’t touch each other at all the rest of the time and that appeared to suit them both just fine. 

There was a bottle of hand moisturiser on the desk beside them. Kenny squirted some generously over his hands and began slathering it across his length, groaning slightly.

“One sec,” Tweek said, as Kenny positioned himself. The immortal rolled his eyes as Tweek took a long gulp of coffee but didn’t complain as he received another deep, caffeine flavoured kiss. Tweek bit his lip as Kenny rocked into him, growling slightly as he did. His small hands dug into Kenny’s shoulders, his grip tightening as the thrusting quickly grew faster, deeper. The flimsy table made a consistent banging against the wall, leaving any neighbours they might have with no uncertainty of what might be going on behind closed doors. 

Groaning into his mouth, Kenny’s free hand, the one that wasn’t guiding Tweek’s hips in deep thrusts, took the hardness that pressed against his bare stomach and started pumping it. The groan that escaped the imp was nearly enough to send him over the edge but he didn’t want to come, not just yet. Biting his own lip, Kenny slowed his pacing a little, grinning as Tweek whimpered in protest.

“Patience, oh eager one,” he teased, bringing his lips back to Tweek’s neck and running his tongue from his pixie-like ear to his collar bone. The imp shuddered against him, hands squeezing harder into his shoulders and Kenny let out another low groan. He bit down on the nape of Tweek’s neck, thrusting harder into the blond, forgetting all about self control. They came together, moments later, their trembling body’s rolling in the pleasurable waves of their joint orgasms. 

Kenny placed one last, lingering kiss against Tweek’s lips as he pulled out and, as soon as their bodies were no longer connected, anything sexual between them dissolved as though it had never even existed in the first place. 

Cleaning themselves up and redressing, they went about their business as if they hadn’t just fucked. It was what they always did. No need in making things messy with emotions. That was sure to spoil a good partnership and neither of them wanted that. 

“I’m going out, dude,” Kenny said as Tweek finished his now cold coffee and set about pouring another. 

“Gah! Don’t stay out too late. We need to set off first thing.” 

“You’re not my mother.” Kenny poked his tongue out and then slipped out of the motel room. 

Tweek sighed, staring around the empty room which suddenly felt too large for one person. Carrying his mug over to the bed, he sat against the wall, brining his knees up to his chest as he set about watching until the door would reopen again. He knew it would be a long night. Kenny wouldn’t be back until a half hour before they needed to set off. It was always the case after their unspoken fucking. It was just part of the ritual. Kenny would go out, get drunk, probably sleep with somebody else, because apparently sex with Tweek wasn’t enough, and Tweek would sit up all night and watch the door, wishing his partner didn’t feel the need to run off as if what they were doing was wrong. As if he didn’t feel the same connection when their bodies joined as Tweek did…


	4. South Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys arrive in South Park :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments _make me soooooo happy_ :)  <3

They took it in turns driving, crossing the distance in one journey save for gas breaks. The temperature plummeted the closer they got to the mountains until finally, they were driving through snow. Kenny grumbled at this, preferring hot beaches and girls in bikinis over parkas and woolly hats. Still, the orange parka Tweek had gotten for him suited Kenny like it was made solely for him to wear. 

“So, how’re we gonna handle this one? Usual trick?” Their usual trick involved hanging out at the biggest redneck bar until they scoped out the easiest targets. Usually Kenny would work his charms on the women (and sometimes men) in their lives, be it daughters, or wives (or husbands and sons) and let it escalate from there. Occasionally, more or less work would be called for. Some people were raring to kill and needed little prompting but, usually, they were the kind of people who couldn’t be bribed. They had learned to stick well clear of those types after a job had horribly backfired and Tweek had ended up dying. Kenny had had to kill himself to get into Hell but even then it had been a struggle getting the imp back to the surface. Damien really didn’t like it when his toys weren’t obedient.

“Let’s play it by ear,” Tweek said. “But, I mean, we’re alright for cash right now so maybe we could take our time. Have a break, y’know?”

“Dude, we couldn’t have had a break in, like, Las Vegas or somewhere first?” 

“Ten grand wouldn’t stretch _that_ far,” Tweek said, frowning at the driver. Kenny had proved himself wholly unreliable with money. Gambling was a big no. Tweek suspected it had something to do with Kenny’s upbringing. His family had been dirt poor, both parent’s alcoholic, crack heads. 

“Says you,” Kenny grumbled.

South Park was… quaint. Kenny glowered at everything as he navigated the roads, keeping his eye out for anywhere they could stay. Nothing caught their eyes. 

“Let’s ask in the bar,” Tweek said, pointing out a brown building with a sign that announced it as ‘Skeeter’s bar and cocktails’. Doing an illegal manoeuvre, Kenny pulled the truck into the car park and climbed out. He was in a bad mood, irritable from having spent the past four hours behind the wheel. He mumbled something about ‘needing a beer anyway’ as Tweek climbed out of the truck and followed him round. 

Inside was smokey, the patrons clearly not giving a damn about the ‘no smoking inside’ law. The place was downtrodden and miserable, filled with middle aged white men. They all turned to look at the two blonds as they stepped past the threshold. Not giving a crap, Kenny strode over to the bar. 

“Gimme something strong,” Kenny said to the balding blond man behind the bar with the ponytail and goatee. As the barkeeper obliged, not asking for ID first, Kenny turned to the plump, red headed man sat staring shamelessly at him. “ _What_?!”

“We don’t take kindly to strangers round ‘ere.”

“Now, Skeeter, they ain’t hurtin’ nobody,” the bartender said cautiously, sliding Kenny over his drink. Kenny drained it in one just as Tweek came to sit beside him.

Skeeter didn’t stop staring but he didn’t say anything more either. 

“Gah! Um, we were actually hoping – _nngh_ – that you’d be able to tell us where we’d be able to stay?” Tweek said, easily slipping back into his timid, overly-caffeinated role. Discreetly, he pinched Kenny’s thigh, a warning for him to behave. Kenny didn’t outwardly react, though he pinched Tweek in retaliation, hard enough for Tweek to let out a loud squeal. 

“You boy’s planning to stay long?” the bartender asked, glancing nervously at Skeeter who was still glowering. 

“Few days, perhaps,” Kenny said casually, accepting the new drink that had been placed in front of him. 

“Maybe longer,” Tweek added, ignoring the glare he received from his companion. 

“You fags?” Skeeter asked, taking a swig of his beer. “What?” he snapped at the barkeeper. “I’m just askin’ our new friend’s if they take it up each other’s ass.”

The bartender sighed, throwing a dirty dish towel over his shoulder. “Hey, Red! Come sort your old man out.”

From out back, a curvy woman in her early twenties emerged. She had long, red hair and freckles, her plaid green shirt unbuttoned enough to show some cleavage. Kenny brightened as he saw her. 

“You being an ass again?” she asked Skeeter before her gaze flickered to the two blonds. She barely spared Tweek a second glance but her lips curled into a smirk as she saw Kenny. Skeeter’s gaze darkened further as he saw the look Kenny sent her. 

“You better be gay,” he muttered under his breath before taking another swig of beer. “Darlin’, do your old man a favour and help me home.” He was clearly trying to get his daughter away from Kenny before any kind of exchange could commence. 

Kenny and Tweek shared a glance. They’d found their next target. Suddenly, just like that, Kenny’s bad mood vanished. He flashed Red a sympathetic smile as she huffed and walked around the bar, throwing one of her father’s arms around her shoulder. Then, as if that was all his interest held, he turned his back to her to face Tweek. ‘Treat them mean, keep ‘em keen’ was just one of Kenny’s tactics and he always seemed to judge perfectly with whom it would work for. Apparently, Red was one of those girls. 

“You getting a drink, Tweekers?” 

“Gah! Coffee… NNgh, I need coffee.”

“You do coffee?” Kenny asked the bartender. The guy nodded and set about making some. As they waited, Tweek glanced around at the rest of the bar. After the initial staring as they’d entered, the other patrons had lost interest in the newcomers and continued their conversations as if they weren’t there. The place was mostly full of rednecks, as Tweek had hoped it would be. There _was_ a table of more middle classed men in the far corner, however. A man wearing a yarmulke was talking to a man with black hair and a moustache and the bars sole black patron. Tweek watched them until his coffee was placed in front of him.

“You’ll wanna try South Park Inn. That or the Airport Hilton,” the barkeeper said, finally answering their earlier question. “They’re both on the outskirts of town, you can’t miss ‘em. They’re pretty much the only places we have to offer.”

Taking a large gulp of hot coffee (one of the worst brews he’s ever had) Tweek managed a smile. “Sound’s great. Thanks, man!” 

 

They ended up at the Airport Hilton, Tweek consenting to splurging out on one of their nicer rooms. As a middle of nowhere, hick hotel even the best rooms weren’t that expensive. The room was large, with a queen sized bed and a pullout sofa that wouldn’t get used. 

“This bed is _huge_!” Kenny said, sprawling out across it as Tweek got to making a mug of coffee in the small kitchenette. “Tweekers! You gotta try this thing out, it’s like a giant marshmallow!” The overenthusiastic dirty blond was jumping on the mattress now, like a goddamn four-year-old. 

“Jesus Christ, don’t break the damn thing!” Tweek snapped, carrying over two mugs of steaming coffee. He silently pushed one into Kenny’s hands as the taller man stopped bouncing, ignoring the delighted smile and exclaim of “For me?! Oh Tweeky, you shouldn’t have!”

Tweek sat down at the desk, twisting the chair around to face Kenny on the bed. “So, we’re going after Skeeter, right?”

“I mean, he meets our MO,” Kenny agreed. “And he must have a bit of cash, right? The damn bar was named after him. He’s gotta be the owner, right?”

“Mmm,” Tweek agreed, taking a sip of coffee. “His daughter worked their too. She was definitely eyeing you up. You didn’t need to even say a word this time.” 

“I mean, can you blame her?” Kenny asked. “Faced with such perfection, she could only swoon at my feet.” 

“Oh fuck off,” Tweek said. He put down his mug of coffee. “Did you notice the group in the corner? The guys with the dad bodies? They looked like they make okay cash. The black guy was especially well dressed.”

“I thought we stuck clear of middle class and higher?” Kenny arched an eyebrow, blowing on his own steaming mug. “They were your rules, were they not?”

“Gah! I dunno, man! It’s where the money’s at, right?”

“So you wanna give _them_ a shot? They’d pay up way more than ten K to stay out of jail, right?” 

“Maybe,” Tweek said. 

“What’s gotten into you dude? I mean, I’m not complaining. If I’m honest, it’s kinda _hot_ , but you’re usually so cautious. Being back in your home town seems to have stirred something in you.”

“Maybe I’m just bored of this life, man. We need to do something big if we wanna stop.”

“Stop?” Kenny pouted. He placed his coffee down and then flopped back into the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Why would you wanna stop? I love all this.”

“You wanna keep dying, man?”

“Dying sucks, yeah, but the rest… I dunno, man. It’s pretty exhilarating, isn’t it? And if we stopped, what then? You’d go back to Hell?”

“No way, man!” Tweek said too quickly. “I don’t wanna ever go back there. Jesus Christ, that’s too much pressure.” 

Kenny propped himself up on his elbow to smile goofily at Tweek. “Awe, you wanna stay with me?” 

“Oh fuck off. I didn’t say that, man!” Kenny just smiled knowingly and continued to observe the imp until the smaller man stood abruptly, making an annoyed screeching noise. 

“I’m gonna shower!”

“Want me to join you?” Kenny called playfully. The bathroom door slammed shut. 

Releasing a small sigh, Kenny let his head drop back down to the mattress and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is some backstory for our Hellish duo and then the chapter after that, Craig shows up~ <3 Woo!


	5. Unstoppable Hell Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wasn’t planning to upload again today but the last chapter was a little boring. Also I really quite like this one and, hell, I don’t want to wait to share it. So, yay! You get two updates today! Lucky you! <3

They’d met for the first time as children. Tweek had had a fight with Damien and was sobbing with his hooves dangling in a lava pit. 

“Doesn’t that hurt?” eight-year-old Kenny McCormick had asked, nervously approaching the imp. He wasn’t a stranger to Hell and all of its occupants, but the blond immortal was only used to seeing Satan crying and even _that_ was hella weird. 

“Doesn’t what hurt?” Tweek had asked miserably, twitching violently. Even then, at eight, he nursed a steaming mug of coffee. Or, what passed for coffee in Hell. One of the main reasons Tweek claimed to have eventually decided to breech the surface was because Kenny had told him all about the wonders of _real_ coffee. 

“The lava.” 

“Just tickles,” Tweek said, his massive eyes peering curiously at Kenny. “ _Nngh_! You new here, man?”

“Just passing through.” Kenny had shrugged and put his hands into his pockets. He had a flowery pink bandaid pressed against his nose and a gap in his smile from having recently lost a tooth. 

“People don’t just pass through here, man,” Tweek said, his eyes accusing. 

Kenny shrugged again. “I do,” he said. “It’s kinda my thing, dude.”

“Jesus Christ, what does that even mean?!” 

Kenny’s eyes widened. “You can say Jesus Christ without like… exploding into flames or anything?”

“Of course I can, dumbass!” 

“Cool!” Kenny had walked over and sat down beside the imp, careful to keep his own feet away from the bubbling lava. Even the heat of it made him feel a little queasy. He was wearing shorts and, when he brought his knees up to his chest, Tweek spotted another bandaid across his knee. Kenny noticed him staring. “Satan gave them to me. I got hit by a car and a few of my cuts didn’t heal up like usual.” That explained the pink flowers, then. 

“Did it hurt?” Tweek asked, eyes wide in wonder. 

“A bit. Driver drove off, too. Left me to die on the side of the road alone.”

“Christ!! Oh man, that sucks!” 

“Yeah. I’m used to it, though. Death’s out to get me so I die a lot. Don’t stay dead, though.”

“How come?” Tweek didn’t know it was possible not to stay dead. He’d certainly never met anyone who could come back to life before, anyway. Except Jesus, not that he’d actually _met_ Jesus or anything. Christ, no! That would be way too much pressure. Having to report to Satan every now and then was enough to spiral Tweek into an anxious mess. 

“I’m cursed,” Kenny said proudly, puffing out his chest. There was a sadness in his eyes though, that his boast didn’t quite disguise. “Something about my parent’s joining a cult, I think. I can’t die. Well, I can’t stay dead anyway, dude.”

“ _Rrrr_ …” Tweek shivered. “What???!”

“I just wake up in my body again as if it never happened. It can be a bit awkward sometimes, though. They buried me once. Man, that was scary!” Kenny ran a hand through his messy, dirty blond hair and shook his head. Suddenly, as if it had just occurred to him, he turned briskly to the imp and stuck out his hand. “I’m Kenny.”

“GAH!” Tweek winced away from his extended hand as though it might grow teeth and bite him. He spilt some coffee over his fingers and cried out again, more from surprise than pain. Tugging at his sleeve, Kenny reached out and used the material to wipe clean the imp’s trembling fingers. Then, from his pocket he pulled out a couple of pink bandaids and, with his tongue poking out in concentration, got to work at twining them around Tweek’s fingers. 

Tweek’s green eyes widened as he watched the other boy play doctor. Nobody had ever cared about him like that… not since that dark room… Tweek shuddered at the memory and forced it back. When Kenny tried to draw away, Tweek grabbed his sleeve. “Um… I’m Tweek,” he said, not quite meeting the boy’s blue eyes. 

“Nice to meet you Tweek,” Kenny said happily, giving a toothy grin, his tongue poking through his gap a little. “You have real cool horns, dude!” Tweek touched the small, curved horns that poked through his halo of blond self consciously before lowering his hands and smiling. 

“Thanks, man! I like your legs. Gah! I mean… I miss having human legs, y’know? These things are a nuisance, man! I’m always falling over and the other imps tease me!” He kicked his goat legs out, flicking some lava across the pool of burnt orange. 

“I think they’re pretty awesome,” Kenny said. “Hey, do you have a tail, too?” 

 

After their first interaction, Kenny sought Tweek out almost every time he ended up in Hell, before his spirit could be drawn back into his body by whatever forces insisted on keeping the blond alive. They formed a quick friendship and were always getting into trouble together. Kevin, Satan’s secretary, was often chasing them angrily, yelling abuse at them and insisting he’d fill Satan in on their imperious behaviour. 

Tweek would keep Kenny up to date on the current news and gossip of Hell and, in return, Kenny would tell Tweek all about the surface. 

“Is it still as green as I remember?” Tweek asked one day, before clamping a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. 

“Wait… You’ve been to the surface? Dude, when?!” Twelve-year-old Kenny demanded. 

Tweek sighed, looking down at the ground. He’d known he’d have to tell Kenny eventually. He was surprised the blond had never asked, if he were honest. “I wasn’t always an imp, man!”

“You weren’t?” Kenny furrowed his brow. “I thought you guys were born like that or some shit?”

“ _Nngh_ … no. We’re created by sacrificial murder.”

“Wait,” Kenny’s frown deepened, “are you saying you were _sacrificed_?!” 

Tweek looked anywhere but at Kenny. “Yeah. I was human until I was seven, man. Then some guy kidnapped me and locked me away to sacrifice to Lucifer.”

“That’s why Satan’s so fond of you?”

“I guess so, man.” Tweek kicked the dirt under his hooves. “I guess he feels responsible for me or something?”

“Jesus,” Kenny whistled loudly. “I’m sorry, dude.” 

“Shit happens,” Tweek mumbled. Then, because he was desperate to change the subject he said “Hey, Damien’s gonna throw Pip into the lava again. Wanna watch?” 

 

At sixteen, Kenny came and found Tweek, looking particularly dishevelled. 

“How’d you die, man?” Tweek asked, raising an eyebrow as he took in his friends state. He looked like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards or something. Kenny shoved his hands into his pockets and averted his eyes. 

“Um… I’ve been down here a few hours,” he confessed. Tweek felt his heart sink a little. Kenny was basically his only friend, so it hurt to hear that he hadn’t come and sought him out straight away. 

“Okay…” he tried to keep his voice neutral. “So what happened?”

“Don’t be mad,” Kenny pleaded. Tweek’s heart thudded in his chest. He didn’t like the sound of that. If Kenny didn’t want him to get mad then he’d surely done something that he knew would piss Tweek off. 

Running a hand past his horns and through his wild hair, the imp asked “What did you do?”

“I, uh… fucked Damien.” 

“Oh…” Tweek turned to face the nearest lava pool, twisting his twitchy fingers together. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Kenny and Damien had been flirting a lot recently, just offhanded comments and sly smirks but enough that Tweek had picked up on it. Still, hearing that it had happened… it made Tweek feel a little… He wasn’t even sure how to describe the feeling but he didn’t like it. Not one bit. 

“You’re mad,” Kenny said. He walked over to stand next to Tweek, joining him in staring out at the lava. 

“I’m not mad,” Tweek said a little too quickly. 

“You are. I can tell, dude.” Kenny leaned down and picked up a small rock, tossing it into the lava. “I know you like him,” he said quietly, after a short silence. Tweek practically jumped up into the air, stifling a scream. Kenny thought he liked Damien? Damien?? _Really?_

“GAH! No way, man! I don’t like – _rrrrr_ – Damien!” 

“You don’t need to lie to me, dude,” Kenny said, turning to face the imp. “I mean, I see how you frown and clam up when we flirt together. Jesus, I’m such a shitty friend…” He turned back to face the lava, his eyes sad. 

Tweek watched him, his heart thudding in his chest. Finally, he sighed and reached out, touching Kenny’s arm gently. “You’re not a shitty friend, man. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. If you wanna fuck Damien… go ahead, okay?” Tweek felt something crack inside of him as he managed to get the words out. Forcing a smile across his lips, he added “But I don’t wanna hear all the gory details, okay?” 

 

“That son of a bitch!” Kenny growled angrily, peering at a crying Tweek from the corner of his eyes. “I’ll kill him!”

“ _Nngh!_ D-Don’t be stupid, Ken,” Tweek said. “You wanna risk pissing off Lucifer?” 

“I don’t give a flying fuck about Satan right now. I can’t believe that asshole!”

“Kenny, it’s fine. It’s not like I – _rrrrrr_ – really liked him or anything.” 

“Yeah? Then why the fuck are you crying so much, huh?” 

Tweek wiped at his eyes. He was surprised by how wet they were. He’d known what Damien was like, known what he was getting himself into. Damien had done the same thing to Kenny a year ago, after all. The son of Satan got bored with his concubines, for lack of a better word, quickly. And, Tweek had only entered the relationship in the first place to help forget about a certain blond who would never be his. 

When he stopped to think about it, Tweek realised he was more upset at losing his distraction from Kenny and the feelings that arose whenever the immortal was close than he was about being pushed aside for Pip of all people. Not that he could tell Kenny any of that. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “Distract me. Tell me about your girlfriend.” It was a stupid move. Hearing about Kenny’s love life always shredded his insides to ribbons, but at least hearing about how happy Kenny was helped reaffirm in Tweek’s mind that the pair of them would never be anything more than best friends. 

Kenny seemed to brighten instantly at the mention of his current bae. “Have I told you yet how fantastic her ass is? I mean, seriously, that girl’s like a fucking walking cushion. It’s incredible.”

“Mmm…” Tweek made a nondescript noise as Kenny continued to rave about how perfect she was. His eyes wandered, spotting Damien and Pip walking hand in hand across from the lava pit. Kenny was too busy talking to notice their mutual former lover. 

 

“Kenny,” Tweek said, staring out into the lava, watching as a particularly large bubble formed before, ultimately, popping. 

The freshly nineteen-year-old turned to face him, surprised by the seriousness in the imp’s tone. He no longer jittered as Kenny remembered him doing so fondly. It had been seven months since they’d last met; Kenny hadn’t died recently and apparently his friend had changed a lot in their time apart. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

“What’s up?” 

“I want you to help me break out of Hell.”

“Holy shit, dude.” Kenny’s blue eye’s widened. “Is that even possible?”

“I think so,” Tweek said calmly. “I’ve been doing research and I think I’ve found a way to appear human on the surface and everything. I’d do it alone, but… well…”

“Jesus, man! I’d never let you do it alone, anyway! Christ, if you’re going to go AWOL, I’m gonna be right by your side, flipping of Satan and Damien.” 

Tweek laughed lightly. He’d known Kenny would be on his side, known that he could trust the immortal to help him out. What were best friends for, after all? 

“I’ve even come up with a plan for on the surface. How to make money and stuff, y’know? If you’re up for it…”

“Dude, just tell me what to do,” Kenny said happily, throwing an arm around Tweek’s shoulder and pulling the small imp closer to him. “Oh boy, this is going to be awesome! Kenny and Tweek, the unstoppable Hell duo! The surface won’t know what’s hit it, man!” 

“That it won’t,” Tweek agreed, smiling slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, a few flashes into Tweek and Kenny’s history together. Our smole bean is so in love, bless him. God, the precious little imp is going to get so confused when we throw Craig into the equation... Should be a fun ride, right? 
> 
> I think you might like the next chapter but, sorry dudes, I’m going to be strong and hold off posting it for a few days. Gotta leave you wanting more :P


	6. Dance With The Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Craig appears! 
> 
> Guys, this chapter contains smut and, if you are opposed to people hooking up the first time they meet, then I would look away now because... yeah...

They agreed to lay the foundations with Skeeter and Red, just in case their middle class men didn’t play ball, so, the following evening, Kenny returned to Skeeter’s bar alone. 

Tweek paced the empty hotel room for two hours, drinking coffee after coffee until his jittery act was no longer an act. He always hated this part. He’d long since accepted that the most he’d get out of Kenny was their post heist euphoric fuck and he’d, for the most part, learned to be fine with that. Still, knowing Kenny was out there, maybe touching somebody else, _fucking_ somebody else… 

Tweek screamed and rippled a pillow in half, showering feathers everywhere. He kicked the wall and then swore angrily, jumping around as the pain slowly ebbed its way out of his toes. He was sure there was no pain worse than a stubbed toe. Sometimes, he actually missed his goddamn hooves! 

Unable to bear it, he grabbed his jacket and let the room, leaving the feathers scattering the floor for the cleaner to deal with. It would be an extra fifty dollars on his bill (like fuck did the pillows cost that much!) but screw it. What did it matter anyway? Soon, hopefully, they’d have enough cash that stupid screw ups like that wouldn’t matter at all. He wondered what would happen when they were rich. Would Kenny leave? He wasn’t sure he could handle that. Then again, he could barely handle Kenny being around anymore either. 

South Park was always perpetually cold. As an imp, Tweek was used to the sweltering heat of Hell and instantly regretted venturing out into the frosty nights air of the small, mountain town. It was hard to believe this was where he would have grown up, had he not been murdered. He had vague memories of his parents owning a coffee shop somewhere in town and decided to check it out. He knew his mother had killed herself years ago but he had no idea what had become of Richard Tweak. Perhaps he still lived here, after all? Maybe the coffee shop was still standing. It wouldn’t harm to check it out. It’s not like he had a lot else to do, anyway. Tweek wasn’t like Kenny. He couldn’t just go out and make friends and find ways that didn’t involve robbing people to amuse himself. If he wasn’t planning their next move, or drinking coffee, or fucking Kenny, or _thinking_ about fucking Kenny, then he was just pacing and not doing a whole lot. It got boring quickly. 

Occasionally he would worry about Satan or Damien coming to drag him back to Hell. If he were honest, he was surprised it hadn’t happened already. The surface was for the living and Tweek, while he had a heartbeat that pumped blood around his body, was certainly not living. Hell, the only time he even felt remotely alive was when Kenny was pressed against him, hot and sweaty and… 

Tweek screamed into his hand and shook his head. Goddamnit, he couldn’t do this to himself. He had to think about something else. 

Upping his pace, Tweek hurried into the direction of the town centre. He didn’t have a clue where the old coffee shop was, if it even still existed, but just being out of the hotel was enough for him. He’d felt like he was going mad in there, trapped in the claustrophobic room while Kenny was out doing God knows what with that red headed girl.

Lost in his own thought’s as he were, Tweek didn’t see the man until he smashed into him. Loosing his footing, Tweek slipped on the icy path and landed heavily on the cold pavement, the light dusting of snow instantly seeping in through his jeans. 

“You okay?” The voice was only mildly concerned as a hand stretched out to help Tweek to his feet. The man who hauled him up was tall, taller even than Kenny. Tweek had to crane his neck to meet his eyes. They were blue, not dissimilar in colour to his immortal friend but, unlike Kenny, the eyes weren’t friendly and playful. They were narrowed in something akin to annoyance. 

“ _Nngh_ , fine!” Tweek instantly slipped into his role of harmless and bat-shit crazy. After all, it hadn’t been a role until a couple of years ago. He really _had_ been the jittery, wreck of a person that he pretended to still be. It had been Kenny, and realising that Kenny would never want him as he was, that had forced him to change. And it was only Kenny that he allowed to see his new, colder, _tougher_ demeanour. 

“You lost? You look lost.” The man had black hair and high cheekbones. He seemed bored of the conversation but, for some reason, he wasn’t walking away. Instead, he was peering down at Tweek with a somewhat curious glint in his narrowed eyes. 

“Um… A little, maybe?” Tweek kept his voice quiet and jittery. “Do you know if there’s still a coffee shop around here called um…”

“Tweek Bros?” the man asked. Tweek’s eyes light up. It had to still be here if the man knew of it. “Yeah, sure. It’s just down the street. I was actually heading there. Gotta get my caffeine fix before I head home.”

“Oh… great!” Tweek said, not sure what to do with that information. Was the man inviting him to tag along? Or simply making conversation?

The man stared at him for a moment before manoeuvring around him to continue walking. Tweek watched him, his feet rooted to the spot. There was something about the man that seemed a little familiar to Tweek, though he couldn’t put his finger on what. “You coming?” The man paused, and threw an impatient look over his shoulder.

“Oh… _Nngh!_ Yeah, sure, man!” He hurried after the stranger, slipping on an icy patch of pavement. He braced himself to fall flat on his already damp ass, but a strong grip grabbed his arm, steading him. 

“You’re clumsy,” the man observed, blue eyes fixed ahead. 

“Gah! I guess so.” 

They walked in silence after that. Tweek noticed that the man stayed close to him, as if braced to catch Tweek should he slip again. He paid extra attention to where he placed his feet, determined not to embarrass himself and prove the man right. 

“I’m Craig,” the man said as they arrived at the coffee shop. He held open the door for Tweek, who opened his mouth to respond but then paused, frowning. He couldn’t say his real name. The coffee shop was called Tweek Bros. The owner’s dead son had been called Tweek, (after all, Tweek was that dead son.) Craig was sure to ask questions if he gave his real name. It wasn’t like Tweek was a common name. 

“I’m…” Panicking, Tweek spat out the first name he thought of. “Pip! My name’s Pip!”

“Hm… I used to know a Pip,” Craig said. “Right little dweeb, he was.” Tweek laughed before almost facepalming as he realised that Pip had died in South Park. The little dweeb and Damien’s Pip were one and the same. Still, it was a better than admitting he was called Tweek. 

Craig ordered a black coffee to go but then lingered as Tweek stood awkwardly at the counter, staring shamelessly at the barista. The man was in his early fifties but hadn’t aged well. His curly brown hair was greying and his green eyes were tired, lined with deep wrinkles. His name badge read ‘Mr Tweek’.

“Can I get you a coffee, son?” the man asked, completely oblivious to how Tweek twitched at the word ‘son’. “Here at Tweek Bros. we offer only the finest, home-brewed coffee. Country fresh like the morning after a rainstorm. So, what will it be?” 

“Jesus Christ, pressure!” Tweek squealed and, for once, it wasn’t an act. He felt as if his brain had shut down faced with the face of his father smiling pleasantly back at him. “Um, I’ll just have a coffee. Black!” 

“Excellent choice. Our coffee is truly something special. Special like a – ” Tweek slammed down his money and snatched the coffee out of his hand before Richard could finish. The man didn’t even blink is surprise, he simply smiled and turned to face the next customer. The place was pretty busy considering how late it was.

Craig was watching him curiously as Tweek scuttled away from the counter. “AHH! What?!” 

“You’re pretty nervous, huh?”

“Nngh, I just – ” Tweek shrugged and didn’t bother finishing his sentence. He’d thought seeing his dad would be something nice to connect him to his former, living state but instead he couldn’t wait to get outside. He felt dizzy and overly hot, his breathing coming up in shallow breaths. He flew through the door and into the cold night’s air, gulping in deep breaths as he leaned heavily against the window. 

There had been absolutely no recollection in his father’s eyes as he had looked at Tweek. 

“You okay?” Craig was standing in front of him. Tweek hadn’t even seen him follow him outside. 

Tweek took a moment to answer, trying desperately to control his breathing. Suddenly he was seriously regretting returning to South Park. What a fucking moron he was, thinking that this was a good idea! He’d died here, for Christ sake!

“Uh, yeah,” he answered finally, when he realised Craig was staring at him expectantly. 

The noirette cocked an eyebrow. “No, you’re not,” he said. He turned and started walking. Tweek watched him, confused, until Craig stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Coming?” 

Tweek found himself pushing off the window and following the tall man home with no real understanding as to why. 

Craig lived in a small, one bedroom apartment that was sparely decorated. The only real touch of what kind of person lived there that Tweek could spot was the telescope by the large windows in the living room.

“You like space?” Tweek squeaked out. He was not very good at making small talk, especially with strangers. Not that it mattered, as his odd companion seemed even less keen on making conversation. Tweek wasn’t sure why Craig had invited him back to his flat at all. The whole situation just seemed remarkably… _odd_. Despite this, he felt drawn to Craig. The noirette seemed so familiar though Tweek still couldn’t place why. 

“I guess,” he answered vaguely. “Wanted to be an astronaut as a kid.” That answer made Tweek think of somebody else he’d once spoken too, though he couldn’t recall who. It seemed to be a theme of that evening. 

“What happened, man?” He assumed that dream had been given up on. 

“I grew up,” Craig said, shrugging. He slipped off his blue jacket, revealing a tightly fitted back shirt that clung to his muscles. He wasn’t a body builder by any means, but Tweek was comparing him to Kenny, who was toned but scrawny. Realising he was staring, Tweek blushed and looked away. 

He walked over to the telescope and peered through the eye piece at the nights sky. “Do you know any of the constellations, man?”

“A few.” Craig came to stand beside him. “That, there, can you see it? The Little Dipper?” Tweek pulled away from the telescope to see where Craig was pointing. His large, curtain-less windows had a spectacular view of the night’s sky. He expected Craig to continue (wasn’t there also a Big Dipper, Tweek thought?), but the taller man turned away from the window to look at him intently. 

Tweek squirmed under his gaze. “What, man?” he squealed.

“Have we met before?” 

“Gah! Um… No! I’m not from around here.”

Craig hummed. “You look familiar. It almost feels like…” he paused, the words rolling around on his tongue as he tried to decide which to use. Eventually, he shrugged and took a sip of his takeaway coffee. 

Remembering his own takeaway cup, Tweek took a sip and winced. It was almost as bad as the coffee from Skeeters and was laced with… “Does this have crack in it?”

Craig laughed. “It’s how they keep people coming back despite how foul the stuff tastes. You get used to it. It’s the only place to get a semi decent coffee here. Surprised an innocent little thing like you could tell, though.” He frowned then, eyeing Tweek, who twitched. “Unless…”

“I’m not a crack addict, man!” Tweek protested quickly, knowing where this was going. His jittery façade was often explained away as a crack addict. 

Craig laughed again. It sounded weird coming from him, like it wasn’t a sound he made often. “I didn’t think you seemed like the type.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“You just seem quite innocent,” Craig shrugged, “cute even.” Tweek stared at him in disbelief and Craig’s tanned cheeks flushed a little. “I can’t believe I just said that. Sorry.”

“You think I’m cute?” Tweek forgot about his act. Craig levelled his eyes to meet Tweek’s green pair. His cheek’s were still a little flushed but he kept unblinking eye contact. 

“I guess,” he said finally. “I mean, I don’t usually pick strangers up off the street and bring them home. There was just something… familiar about you. I dunno.” He tore his gaze away to stare at the starry nights sky again. 

Tweek took another sip of coffee, contemplating his next move. He’d wanted something to take his mind off of Kenny and now, here something had landed. There was no denying that Craig was hot either. Whether or not the stranger was gay seemed irrelevant, seeing as he’d practically dragged Tweek home and had then called him cute. 

“So,” he asked, still forgetting to use his anxious, jittery voice. “Now that you’ve got me here what are you planning to do with me?” 

Craig turned back to look at Tweek, his eye’s wide at Tweek’s almost seductive tone. They stared at each other, unblinking, for a long minute and then Craig leaned down, crushing his lips against Tweek’s. His kiss was nothing like Kenny’s but, Tweek was surprised to realise, that wasn’t a bad thing. After all, Tweek was doing this to forget about the blond and this mountain of a man was as different from the immortal as he could get. 

Tweek didn’t protest as Craig picked him up. He wrapped his legs around the man’s waist, deepening the kiss, his hands threading through his thick, black locks. Craig moaned against his mouth, stumbling until he had Tweek trapped between his warm body and the cold glass of the window. As Craig’s lips moved to Tweek’s neck, the imp got to work with unbuttoning the taller man’s shirt, revealing toned muscles that Tweek couldn’t help but run his fingers over. Craig moaned against his neck, his own fingers mirroring Tweek’s efforts to reveal the imp’s far less impressive, pale chest. If Craig was disappointed he didn’t show it as he started kissing his collar bone. 

Although this impromptu decision to fuck Craig was so very similar to each heated fling he had with Kenny, there was also something so very different about it all. It was strange, being touched by large, callous, unfamiliar hands. Strange being kissed by soft, unfamiliar lips. Strange but not at all horrible. Tweek moaned in pleasure. 

He was momentarily disappointed as Craig moved his legs back to the ground but it became clear this sudden vertical position was only to be long enough for Craig to unbutton and remove Tweek’s jeans and boxers. As soon as they were gone, along with his own, Craig picked him up again. Tweek hissed as his bare butt slammed into the cold glass, desperately finding Craig’s lips again and brushing their tongues together. He groaned loudly into his mouth as Craig slipped a finger inside of him, gently wriggling it around. He buckled against the taller man as a second finger entered him. 

Tweek had only ever had sex with two other people. Damien had been his first and Tweek had only screwed him because Kenny had and it felt like he was somehow closer to the immortal if the same boy had thrust inside both of them (Damien did _not_ bottom!). His torrid affairs with Kenny were his only other experience with sex. It was Kenny who went out and had one night stands, not Tweek. Tweek stayed at home and drank coffee. Tweek waited patiently until Kenny was desperate enough to want him again. Tweek certainly didn’t fuck good looking strangers who he’d only met less than an hour before. Except –

Tweek moaned loudly as Craig slipped his cock inside of him, using a mixture of precum and spit as lube. His blue eyes sought out Tweek’s, as if looking for permission before he started thrusting. It was a little late now. Tweek bit his lip and nodded, desperate for the friction of their bodies moving together. So caught up in their heated act of passion as he was, he didn’t even care that he was bare butt naked against a giant flipping window that over looked South Park’s high street. They were high up enough that he doubted anyone would bother looking up and noticing them, anyway. 

They moved together like they had done it before, groaning and grabbing and kissing one another until Craig gasped and shuddered, his lips quivering against Tweek’s neck. Tweek followed him into orgasm, forcing Craig’s lips against his own so that he could kiss him deeply, moaning into his mouth. 

When they stopped trembling, Craig kissed him again, gently this time, the burst of passion gone from him. After a lingering moment he then guided Tweek’s feet to the ground, keeping a hand on his bony hip so that Tweek’s shaky legs wouldn’t buckle under him. 

They stared at each other for a long minute and then Craig blushed and laughed awkwardly. “Wow,” he said, staring just past Tweek’s shoulder. “Um… That’s not something I make a habit of.”

“Me either,” Tweek said, although he fucked Kenny in fits of passion at least once a month. 

“I mean… I don’t regret it,” Craig said quickly, adding, worriedly, “Do you?”

“No,” Tweek said honestly. 

“Good, um, Jesus.” He ran a hand nervously through his hair. They were still standing by the window. Still naked. “God, I’m really worried you’re gonna think that -”

“-Gah! I don’t!” Tweek interrupted, sensing how the taller man was really worried about his reputation. “I mean, not that I would judge you if you did make a habit of picking up strange men. Or woman! I mean, Christ, I don’t even know which way you swing. Oh Jesus, now I’m rambling. I’m gonna put some pants on. Can I, uh…”

“Oh, sorry!” Craig stepped away from him, allowing Tweek space to scuttle around, yanking on his clothes without cleaning himself up first. “For the record, I’m pretty damn gay.”

“I guess that’s pretty obvious,” Tweek said, flushing with embarrassment. “I mean, I doubt many straight guys pick up random dudes.” Craig laughed and went about getting dressed himself. 

“Probably not,” he agreed. “Ugh, it creeps me out a bit hearing it as ‘picking up random dudes’. It really isn’t a thing I do. I don’t even think I intended for that to happen,” he said. “I don’t know… I just…” He sighed and didn’t finish. A little hesitantly, Tweek came over to him, stopping directly in front of the giant. He wasn’t tall enough to kiss him but Craig seemed to realise his intentions and leaned down to softly brush their lips together. He smiled as he pulled away.

“Talk about dancing with the devil, huh?” Tweek froze at his words before realising it was just an expression and Craig probably hadn’t figured out that he was an imp from Hell. He forced a small laugh from his lips. 

“Yeah,” he agreed shakily. “I should probably go…”

“Okay,” Craig sounded disappointed. He looked at Tweek with that same expression he’d given him when they’d first met. That one that was trying to pinpoint him. Tweek himself felt the same urge, as if they truly had met somewhere before. “Or, well… You could stay?”

“Okay.” It wasn’t like he had anything other than an empty hotel room to get back to anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened... I swear I didn’t intend for them to hook up the first time they met but that’s just the way the scene insisted on going and, well, it helps reinforce how drawn they are to one another or something :P


	7. Broken Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, for all the comments + kudos. ILY guys, you’re the best <3

_“Will I see you again?” Craig asked as Tweek lingered at the door, not wanting to leave, despite Craig needing to get to work. He was a mechanic, apparently. He also caught some shifts at his_ uncle’s _bar. His uncle, of course, being Skeeter, the man he and Kenny were considering ripping off. Typical._

_“I’d like that,” Tweek said._

_“Good.” Craig leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. “Bye, Pip.”_

_Pip. Tweek had frozen at the name, his smile glued in place. He’d forgotten he hadn’t giving the noirette his real name. Somehow, despite having sex twice that night, Craig had never used a name for him. The second time, in his silky bed, Tweek had moaned Craig’s name repeatedly, but Craig was mostly a silent lover._

_“Bye Craig,” he’d croaked, already deciding that he could never see the mechanic again._

 

“Just where the fuck have you been?” Kenny demanded as Tweek let himself into their shared hotel room, which was now feather free. He jumped up from the bed, rushing over to the smaller blond, a mixture of anger, worry and relief in his eyes. “Goddamn it, Tweek! I thought they’d come for you!”

Tweek lowered his head guiltily. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Kenny might think that. He’d actually assumed he’d beat the other blond home. 

“How long have you been back?” he asked sheepishly. 

“Since midnight,” Kenny said coldly. “Where were you?”

“I – ” Tweek didn’t know how to answer that. They weren’t together and it certainly wasn’t as if Kenny didn’t go out and hook up with random people, but somehow, admitting that he’d spent the night with Craig… he wasn’t sure he could stomach getting the words out. “I didn’t think you’d come back until morning,” he said lamely, unable to make eye contact. 

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone the first night back in the town you were murdered in, dumbass.” Some of the anger had dissolved from Kenny’s eyes until he just looked… sad. Tweek felt his already broken heart crack that little bit more. “Please tell me you didn’t wander the streets alone all night, at least?”

“…I didn’t,” he admitted. 

“I don’t know whether to be relieved or not,” Kenny said, laughing humourlessly. “Goddamnit, Tweek! I was so fucking worried.”

“It’s not like you couldn’t just go back to Hell and spring me again,” Tweek said quietly, though he knew that wasn’t the point. 

“If they care enough to come and get you then they care enough to make it harder for you to escape, dumbass. It was hard enough springing you that time you got shot and it wasn’t even them that landed you back in Hell.”

Tweek didn’t know what to say. His heart ached and he felt incredibly guilty for reversing their usual situations and leaving Kenny alone all night while he hooked up with a stranger. Not able to find the words, he just wrapped his arms around Kenny’s middle, burying his head into the taller man’s chest. He only relaxed when Kenny returned the hug, pulling him tighter against him. 

“Don’t do that to me again,” he muttered into Tweek’s hair, pressing a kiss down on the wild locks. 

“I won’t.” Tweek felt like crying. He bit the inside of his cheek hard to try and halt the tears. If they started he wasn’t sure they’d ever stop. 

“The guy better have been worth it,” Kenny mumbled in a strange voice. Tweek tensed. “You smell of sex,” Kenny explained. His voice still sounded wrong, but he didn’t relinquish his tight hold on Tweek. Tweek couldn’t help it, he let out a sob. Kenny pulled away slightly so that he could look him in the eye. “Hey now,” he shushed. “It’s okay, alright?” He wiped gently at Tweek’s eyes. “Please don’t cry, Tweekers.”

“I’m so sorry,” Tweek said. He didn’t know if he was apologising for being out all night and worrying Kenny or if he was apologising for having sex with someone who wasn’t Kenny. 

“It’s okay,” Kenny said, cupping his cheeks. “It’s okay.” Then he did something completely unexpected that made Tweek’s heart stop thudding in his chest. He leaned down and pressed a gentle, loving kiss to Tweek’s lips. 

Ninety-five percent of their kisses were heated, desperate ones. Tweek wasn’t sure they’d ever shared such a soft, caring brush of lips before. It made him feel all the worse for the tender kisses he’d shared with Craig the night before. It surprised him enough that he stopped crying. 

“That’s better,” Kenny said gently, still cupping his face. He pressed their noses together, his eyes smiling fondly at him. After a moment, Kenny shifted his nose to kiss Tweek again. Again there was no passion behind the kiss, no _heat_. There was only love. It was the kind of kiss Tweek had given up hope of ever receiving from Kenny and the kind of kiss he felt incredibly guilty to receive after his night of passion with Craig. It was the kind of kiss that confused the hell out of Tweek. 

He pulled away, trying not to feel bad as Kenny’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What is this?” he asked softly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, why are you doing this? I’ve gotten used to how things are between us. I’ve accepted that you’ll never love me back – ”

“-Whoa, hold up!” Kenny interrupted. He stepped back but kept his hands on Tweek, holding him at arm length. “What do you mean, love you back?”

Tweek averted his eyes. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to start crying again or get angry. He chewed on his lip, stubbornly not saying anything. 

“You love me?” Kenny asked softly, realising Tweek wasn’t going to say anything without being prompted. 

“Of course I fucking love you!” Tweek snapped, his eyes dancing with fire as he looked up. Kenny stepped back at the intensity of it all. “I’ve loved you since we were kids, Kenny!” 

“You… have?” Kenny sounded lost. “But… No… You loved Damien… you…”

“For fuck sake, Kenny! I never even liked Damien! You forced that on me so you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about not liking me back.”

“But I did like you!” Kenny near shouted, stunning Tweek into silence. “I hooked up with Damien to make you jealous. I hooked up with him because I didn’t think you’d ever want me and that hurt too much!”

Tweek laughed numbly, moving over to the bed and sitting down heavily. “Have we been fucking idiots?” he asked. 

Kenny came over and crouched in front of him, taking his hands gently and squeezing his fingers. “Looks like it, yeah.”

“But you – ”

“-Tweek,” Kenny said softly. “If you’re going to say I sleep around, it’s because I’m a fucking idiot who didn’t think you wanted me back. Meaningless sex with strangers sort of helped numb that, y’know? Wasn’t that what last night was for you?”

Tweek opened his mouth to agree but then closed it again. Initially, that’s what he’d wanted from Craig but, somewhere between being pressed against the glass of his giant window and ending up in his silky bed sheets, Tweek had felt a connection with the noirette. After he’d agreed to say the night, he hadn’t thought of Kenny once, not until he was walking home freaking out over the fact that Craig had called him Pip. 

“Oh,” Kenny said sadly as he derived the meaning from Tweek’s silence. “Oh,” he said again, apparently not sure what else to say. 

“Kenny,” Tweek’s voice cracked. “It’s not like that. I only met him last night. I – it’s not like I’m in love with him or anything! Jesus Christ! I’m in love with you!”

“But you like this guy? It wasn’t just sex?”

Tweek wanted to say it was, that all he’d wanted was to escape the fact that he’d thought Kenny would never love him back, but he couldn’t lie. He just couldn’t. “It wasn’t just sex,” he agreed quietly. “We had a connection. It was like we knew each other or something. Like it was serendipity.”

Kenny let go of his hands. Another crack wormed its way across Tweek’s fractured heart. 

“I missed my shot,” Kenny said, sounding like a lost child. 

“No,” Tweek argued. “No, Kenny – ”

Kenny stood up. He looked blank, empty. It scared Tweek. 

“We have a job to do,” Kenny said in a strange, strangled voice. “It’s gonna be our big break, remember, Tweek?” The smile he sent the imp was all kinds of wrong. It didn’t meet his eyes, it didn’t look happy, it didn’t look natural.

“Kenny – ” Tweek stood up, but Kenny was already walking out of the door. “Kenny!” The taller blond didn’t look back. Tweek watched him vanish down the corridor through the open door, wanting to chase after him, wanting to retract what he’d said about Craig (Seriously, what a load of bullshit! He’d known the guy like twelve hours for Christ sake!) instead, he sunk back onto the bed, curling his knees up to his chest, and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no... Kenny :’( 


	8. Marjorine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand Marjorine makes her first appearance! She’s definitely going to have some form of relationship with Kenny in later chapters but I sure am curious as to where you guys want this story to head, couple wise? The more I write, the more I start to doubt my original decisions haha

_Goddamnit!_ Kenny shouldn’t have been surprised really; good things never lasted long for him but _damn_ , that was a new record. For all of two minutes he’d thought that maybe, _finally_ , he and Tweek were getting somewhere. 

It was his own fault, of course, for being such a fucking oblivious idiot. How had he missed it? How had he tricked himself the first time their lips had locked that it was just a heat of the moment, euphoric moment? How had he failed to see that, for Tweek, like it had secretly been for himself, it was so much more than that? How had he failed to realise, for years, that his best friend was in love with him? 

Because he was a goddamn fucking idiot, that was why. 

He always screwed everything up. He’d screwed up his own life, his families life, Tweek’s life (or, more appropriately, afterlife) and every other damn relationship he’d ever had. He was cursed with more than just immortality, more, even, than just stupidity. He was cursed to be miserable and to make other people miserable in return. 

In moment’s like this he really wished that he could die and just stay fucking dead. What was the point in living when life was this shitty? 

Kenny wasn’t sure whether he wanted to scream or cry. He didn’t do either. He was in the middle of a bustling street and he hardly wanted to draw unwanted attention to himself. Whatever they were both feeling right now, they still had a job to do. Maybe, once they completed it and escaped this damn town that had already ruined everything, they could go back, or step forward, or whatever. Kenny just wanted things to be better. 

It was cold and he hadn’t grabbed that ugly orange parka Tweek had bought him before storming out. If he wasn’t careful he’d probably freeze to death. He didn’t think he could face Damien again right now, not after what had just gone down between him and Tweek. 

Tweek had never loved Damien. 

Kenny had been sure, _certain_ , that Damien had broken Tweek’s heart. He’d thought that was what had spurred the imp into deciding to run away from Hell. Now, the only thing he could think about was that maybe his reasons had more to do with spending more than just a handful of precious hours with the immortal every time he died and ended up in Hell. Had this all been for him, so that Tweek could at least spend time in the company of the man he loved?

God, Kenny was such a fucking idiot! He wanted to bang his head against the nearest brick wall. 

Instead, he froze as he spotted a coffee shop across the road. _Tweek Bros. Coffee_ the sign read. _Could_ it be? Feeling drawn to it like a magnet, Kenny entered the coffee shop. He ordered a latte from the tired man behind the counter, hardly able to tear his eyes away as he locked onto _Tweek’s_ eyes. He stared at the man until somebody cleared their throat loudly behind him. Muttering an apology, Kenny found an empty table and sat down. 

He wondered whether Tweek knew that his dad still lived in town. He distinctly remembered the imp telling him his family didn’t live there any more. He remember how offhanded he’d sounded when he’d mentioned his mom’s suicide. He wondered whether there had been more to why Tweek had suddenly wanted to come back to South Park after thirteen years and, if so, why the blond hadn’t just admitted it. 

The door jingled as it opened and Kenny watched with bored disinterest as a couple entered. They were around his age, the guy big, mostly in muscle, although he was definitely carrying a little bit of extra fat. The girl was petite and blonde, wearing a cute sundress despite the freezing weather. Kenny had noticed that residents of South Park didn’t seem to feel the cold like normal human beings did. Most wore either only shirts or thin jackets. 

“Goddamnit, Butters,” the man practically growled, apparently continuing an argument that had started outside. Kenny continued to watch them, just for something to do. 

“Now Eric, you know I don’t really go by that anymore – ”

“I’m not calling you fucking Marjorine. We’ve been over this.”

“Gee, Eric, it’s been years – ”

“-Then you should have fucking released by now that it’s never going to happen. Jesus!” He got to the counter and snapped his order at Tweek’s dad. As soon as his takeaway cup was pushed into his hands, he stormed out of the shop, leaving his girlfriend to pay. 

“What an asshole,” Kenny commented without thinking. The girl turned to look at him, smiling sheepishly. 

“Gee, he’s not all _that_ bad. He’s just having a bad morning, is all.” The girl – Marjorine – slipped over some money and accepted her own drink. Shyly, she came over to Kenny. “You new here, fella? I haven’t seen you before.” 

“Yeah, just arrived in town night before last.”

“Staying long?” she asked curiously. Kenny couldn’t tell if it was nosiness or if she was just plain friendly. She was cute though, and he could do with looking at a cute face for a bit after everything that had happened with Tweek. 

“Wanna sit?” he asked her, gesturing to the empty chair. Marjorine glanced at the closed door but her boyfriend was long gone. Turning back, she smiled at Kenny and nodded, slipping into the seat and placing her coffee next to Kenny’s on the table. “Not sure yet,” he said, answering her question. “Depends if anything catches my interest.” He smiled charmingly at her and didn’t fail to catch her blush. For all his many failures, Kenny could charm the socks off a lamp post. Tweek had often said it was a mixture of his blue eyes, dimples and freckles. 

“Well, gosh, South Park’s a pretty interesting place,” she said. “There’s always something happen ‘round here.”

“Sound’s intriguing.” He smiled and leaned in a little, not enough to be threatening but enough to make her heart race just that little faster. “You know, I’d love a tour at some point… If your boyfriend doesn’t mind, of course?” He gave a charming smile. Like hell did he want to spend his day dwelling on the fact that he’d screwed up so horribly with Tweek. Enough that Tweek had already started to move on. 

“My boyfriend?” Marjorine repeated blankly. “Oh, Eric? He’s not… Well, not really…”

“Then you don’t need his permission?” Kenny made his eyes light up. Marjorine smiled brightly.

“I sure don’t! I’m Marjorine Stotch, by the way, and you are?”

“Kenny McCormick. It’s a pleasure, Marjorine.” 

 

Marjorine seemed to know everyone in South Park and was acknowledged with a mixture of friendly waves and impatient sighs depending on who she greeted. Virtually everyone looked at Kenny in suspicion and it was clear that what Skeeter had said the night they’d arrived, about not taking to strangers kindly around here, was correct. 

“They’ll warm to ya,” Marjorine promised cheerfully as she pointed out the post office, just in time for the man in the yarmulka to leave it. “Oh, hi there, Gerald,” Marjorine smiled. Kenny straightened beside her. This man was one of the ones Tweek had pointed out as a potential target. Until they figured out their plan of action, it was best if he could create a good impression and learn as much about the Jewish man as possible. 

“Hello, Marjorine,” Gerald said, smiling. His eyes flickered to Kenny, a little uncertainly, though his smile didn’t falter. “Who’s your friend?”

“I’m Kenny, sir,” he said, before Marjorine could speak. “Kenny McCormick.”

“Kenny’s new in town,” Marjorine said brightly. “I’m jus’ giving him the tour.” 

“How nice of you,” Gerald said. He was clutching a parcel to his chest but, judging from the fact he didn’t seem desperate to rush off, Kenny doubted it held anything indiscriminating. 

“How’s Kyle?” Marjorine asked brightly. “I sure do miss him ‘n Stan.”

“Oh they’re both wonderful,” Gerald said. “Very happy. My son and his boyfriend are at university in Denver,” Gerald explained to Kenny proudly. “Kyle, my son, is studying to be a doctor. I sometimes wish he’d gone into law like me, though.”

“You’re a lawyer?” Kenny’s smile grew. 

“That I am. One of only two in town. If you ever need one, I’m your man.” Gerald chuckled.

“Well that’s very good to know. Not that I’m expecting to need a lawyer any time soon,” Kenny said happily, keeping just the right amount of charm in his tone. Gerald seemed to gobble it up. 

“Of course. You seem like a good kid. You arrived with another boy, didn’t you? I think I saw you at Skeeter’s the other night?”

“Oh that was Tweek. We’re old friends. We came here looking for work.” Talking about Tweek, even in such an offhanded manner, hurt more than Kenny had expected. Still, his smile didn’t falter. 

“Well, I wish you luck. I must dash anyway, got to get to work. Marjorine, say hello to your parent’s for me. Nice meeting you, Kenny.” 

“Oh, will do,” Marjorine smiled, waving. As soon as Gerald’s back was turned, a scowl formed on her cute face. Kenny nudged her. 

“What’s up?”

“Oh, my parent’s just make me awfully sore, is all. It’s nothing. Come on, fella! I’ll show you the cinema. They always have jobs going there, seeing as you’re looking an’ all.” 

More curious than he should be about Marjorine’s parents and whatever about them had caused her to scowl so, Kenny smiled at the girl and linked his arm through hers. Of course he had no interest in a job at the local cinema but he was not ready to say goodbye yet, especially when his alternative was returning to the hotel room and Tweek (if he was even there. Tweek leaving for the night had been a first and now Kenny was unsure of what to expect of the future.) and he definitely couldn’t face the imp yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter but I hope y’all enjoyed anyway :)


	9. Busy Mind, Empty Heart

There was nothing wrong with their truck. Sure, it was an old, hunk of crap but it drove okay and didn’t make any untoward noises. Because of that, Tweek couldn’t really explain why he found himself driving it to the local garage an hour after Kenny ran away. 

Hadn’t he decided he couldn’t see Craig again? It was what was best all around. For unexplainable reasons, the noirette seemed to like Tweek which was reason enough to stay away. It also also didn’t help that Craig thought Tweek was called Pip and was, well, alive and human. 

Then there was Kenny. Kenny who loved him back and had honestly looked devastated to learn that Tweek’s one night stand wasn’t as meaningless as he’d hoped. Tweek hated that the immortal always ran away from his problems. If he’d stayed, maybe they could have figured everything out. If he’d stayed, maybe Tweek wouldn’t be making a fool of himself, driving a perfectly healthy truck into the shop so that he could stare at the eye candy that worked inside like some kind of goddamn stalker! 

Frowning, Tweek realised that if he didn’t do at least something to sabotage the truck a little, a stalker was exactly what he was going to look like. 

He didn’t use his imp magic much. He liked to pretend he was as human as humanly possible. Sometimes, the right occasion called for it, however. This seemed like such an occasion. As he pulled up outside the garage, he leaned forward, feeling the familiar tingling heat build up in his pointer finger. He touched the dashboard. 

There was a loud, ear ringing popping sound and dark smoke erupted from the bonnet of the car. Tweek cried out in surprised shock, grabbing his wild locks of hair to tug frantically as he realised he’d accidentally caused way more damage than he’d meant too. 

The noise drew Craig from inside. He jogged over, a worried expression across his face. “Are you okay?” he called, pulling open the drivers seat. He smiled in surprise as he saw who was inside. “Pip!”

“H-hey!” Tweek said shakily, disentangling his hands from his hair. He opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say more but too stunned to formulate words. 

“You might want to get out, just in case,” Craig said, holding out a hand to help the stunned driver out of the truck. “That was a nasty sound. Look’s like you got her here just in time.”

“Y-yeah,” Tweek stuttered, still shocked. Smoke was still pooling out from the old truck. How had he managed to do so much damage with so little magical intent? He must have misjudged; using his magic as little as he did had made him rusty. 

Craig moved over to the front and tried to lift the bonnet, pulling away with a cry as it burned his flesh. “Okay,” he said, cradling his fingers. “We’re gonna have to let that cool down. It’s gonna be a while, I’m afraid. Couple of days, at least, depending on what’d going on inside. I can hook you up with a rental if you need it?”

Tweek shook his head. “Gah! No, that’s fine, man! South Park’s pretty small. I don’t think I’ll need to do much driving while I’m here.”

“Okay. Well, can I at least give you a lift back into town? We’re a little way out, here. I don’t like the thought of you walking about forty minutes by the side of the road.”

Tweek agreed to a lift back into town. He sat awkwardly in the passenger seat, twisting his fingers together in his lap as Craig drove silently with only the radio gently humming away.

Eventually, as they started to approach the Airport Hilton, Craig broke the silence. “I wasn’t lying when I said I really would like to see you again,” he said quietly. “Do you want to maybe grab dinner? Tonight?”

Tweek opened his mouth but didn’t answer straight away. He knew he should say no. Knew it was stupid to get attached to a human who, once they were done in the town, he would never see again. A human who he might even, inadvertently, screw over if they ended up targeting Skeeter. “Okay.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them and Tweek almost groaned, catching himself before it could escape and catch Craig’s notice. 

Craig smiled. “I have to work at Skeeter’s at nine, but we could catch an early dinner, around half five?”

“That sound’s – _nngh!_ – nice. It sound’s nice. Yup.” Craig laughed at his awkwardness and pulled into the hotel carpark. 

“I’ll pick you up here,” he said, leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to Tweek’s lips. The imp startled and flailed backwards but Craig, who seemed to already be used to the mans nervous disposition (which was currently less fake than unusual) didn’t seem offended. 

As Tweek watched Craig drive off, his shoulders slumped. What the hell was he doing, fraternising with a mortal? Running away from Hell to be closer to Kenny had been bad enough without him now having unexplainable feelings for a human. He didn’t even know what it was about Craig. He couldn’t explain it one bit but he felt drawn to the tall man, as if they’d known each other for years. That was impossible though, right? Tweek hadn’t had any friends in the seven years that he’d been alive and living in South Park. Not unless he counted the little boy he’d been locked away with for that one, horrible month. Tweek’s eyes widened as a thought occurred to him but he shook it off. That child couldn’t have been Craig. Satan had told him the boy had moved away with his family, moved to a different country even. Tweek had been happy to hear it. He hadn’t wanted that boy, that boy he’d never thought to ask the name of in the whole month they’d been locked away together, to be reminded of what they’d endured. 

…Why hadn’t they told each other their names…? 

 

Tweek spent the day locked away in the hotel room working on ways to make them the most money. He didn’t have all, or even most, of the facts so it was difficult to determine the best plan of action but he hoped that Kenny, if he ever showed his face to Tweek again, would be able to fill him in on their targets and he could fill in the blanks later. Mostly, it was just something to do. Something to keep him occupied so he didn’t have to think about how he was fucking everything up. He wanted to keep busy, to distract himself from thinking about Kenny. Distract himself from thinking about Craig. He was already regretting agreeing to their date later. He’d bashed his head against the desk he was working at in frustration enough that he had a mild headache.

Five o’clock crept closer and it started to get to the point where Tweek had no choice but to get ready. He couldn’t cancel because he didn’t have Craig’s number and he couldn’t bring himself to stand the mechanic up. 

Gulping down the last of his coffee and glancing at the door that Kenny still hadn’t emerged through, Tweek jumped into the shower. He turned the water up to its hottest temperature and allowed the water to knead some of the tension out of his shoulders. Showers were always the closest he felt to home. Turning them up as hot as possible and closing his eyes, he could almost pretend he was back in Hell. Not that he missed Hell all that much. His only real friend down there (asides from Kenny, if he even counted considering he wasn’t a resident so much as a guest who showed up a little too often) was Satan. That was pretty sad, right? It was like having your dad as your best friend, Tweek thought. He’d gotten on okay with Pip, he supposed, but he found the British boy more annoying than anything. Damien had always just treated Tweek as a toy he could force to obey his will. As for the other imps, they had always laughed at Tweek’s nervous, jittery disposition and he’d always been the one left out of activities. 

Life had been better since escaping Hell. _Fun_ , even. And he got to spend every day with Kenny which made even his betrayal to Lucifer worth it. 

Except now he’d fucked everything up. And, like the idiot he was, he was continuing to do so just by agreeing to go on this stupid date. 

He shut the water off and climbed out of the shower before he ended up smacking his head repeatedly against the tiled wall. 

_Moron, moron, moron!_

Drying himself off, he dressed in a green button up and his nicest brown pants. Towel drying his wild hair, he tried to style it into a somewhat acceptable look but, of course, by the time he left his room ( _Kenny still hadn’t returned…_ ) it was all over the place again. 

Craig was already waiting for him as Tweek left the hotel a couple of minutes before half five. He was leaning against his nice black car (Tweek didn’t know a thing about cars, but it looked nice. Shiny.) and looked very suave. Tweek tugged awkwardly at his shirt, suddenly feeling very underdressed. Craig only smiled brightly at him, though. 

“So where are we going, man?” Tweek asked nervously after pleasantries had been exchanged and he was sitting shotgun in the car. 

Craig glanced at him nervously. “Well, South Park doesn’t really have that many nice places to eat. They’re all adequate but… Anyway, we don’t have time to drive to Denver and back so I thought I’d cook… If that’s okay?”

“You can cook?” 

“Don’t look so surprised,” Craig mumbled, blushing a little. 

“I’m sorry, man,” Tweek prattled quickly. “It’s just, you’re a mechanic. I didn’t realise guys who liked cars could also do stuff like cook, man. I dunno, it just surprises me, is all. You’re not gonna poison me, right? That would be way too much pressure!”

Craig laughed nervously. “I hadn’t planned on it.” 

It didn’t take long to arrive at Craig’s flat and Tweek couldn’t help the blush that overcame him as he entered the living room and spied the large window. 

“Do you like steak?” Craig asked, apparently not noticing Tweek’s slight discomfort. 

“ _Nngh_ , yes! Uh-huh, steak’s great.” 

“Good,” Craig opened the fridge and removed the steak and a bottle of red wine. “How about wine?” Tweek wasn’t much of a drinker, really, but he accepted the glass of wine and gulped at it greedily, too nervous to get through the date sober. 

Despite Craig telling him to make himself at home, Tweek stayed in the kitchenette, watching as Craig prepared their meal. There was something very attractive about watching the noirette cook. It became quite an internal battle for Tweek to allow Craig to continue cooking instead of throwing himself at him. Even the mental imagine was embarrassing. 

“So, tell me about yourself, Pip,” Craig said as he chopped a beef tomato in half. Tweek winced into his wine at the name Pip before realising that Craig wanted to know about him and he couldn’t very well answer honestly. Panicking, he tried to pull a lie out of nowhere but that was more Kenny’s expertise. 

“Well, where did you grow up?” Craig asked softly, sensing his discomfort. For such a mountain of a man, everything about Craig was soft. 

“Phoenix!” Tweek blurted the first place that came to his mind. 

“The cold here must be horrible then,” Craig said, putting the tomato halves in a frying pan. 

“It’s awful, man!” Tweek shivered just thinking about it. It was rare that he had Kenny would venture into colder states. After spending so much time in Hell, they both preferred warmer weather. 

“Can I ask what brought you here?” 

Tweek didn’t know how to answer that. As far as Craig knew, Tweek had no connection to South Park at all and it was safer if it stayed that way. “Kenny!” he blurted quickly, blushing as he realised he hadn’t mentioned Kenny to Craig yet. “Uh, I came here with my friend Kenny and he heard about this place from some girl he dated once. Weird stuff happen here, right?” 

“Oh, you’re one of those people who’s drawn to adventure?”

“Uhh… Gah! A little maybe? You’re not?”

“No. I like life nice and boring.”

“And how’s that working out for you?” Tweek added a little twitch, afraid to appear too normal. 

“Not well. Something always comes up. Christ, when I was ten I found out there was a Peruvian prophecy about me saving the world. I had lasers shooting from my eyes and had to kill giant guinea pigs, which fucking sucked. I love guinea pigs.” Somehow, Craig loving little, fluffy guinea pigs didn’t surprise Tweek. The rest of his comment did, though. 

“Lasers?” he asked nervously, tugging at his collar. 

“Yeah, well, it hasn’t happened since.” Craig shrugged. “Weird shit always happens in South Park.” 

Craig finished cooking their meal in silence and then topped up their wine as he placed the plated up meals on the breakfast bar. It looked and smelled incredible. 

“Has anything else crazy happened to you, man?” Tweek asked while they were eating. He knew it wasn’t possible, he knew what Satan had told him but, even still, a little part of him couldn’t help but wonder… Since the thought had entered his mind, he was having trouble shaking it. Craig couldn’t be that same little boy who’d tried to save his life… He couldn’t be… 

“A few things.” Craig shrugged and didn’t expand. 

“I was kidnapped as a child!” Tweek blurted before he could stop himself. He nervously glanced up to judge Craig’s expression but the noirette was unreadable. 

“That so?” he asked finally, his steak knife clutched a little tighter between his fingers. 

“Yeah, man! It was terrifying. I was locked away in a dark room for ages.” 

Craig put down his knife and fork and picked up his wine, gulping it down like water. Tweek felt his heart thudding in his chest erratically. It wasn’t fair, really, that his heart could still mistreat him so when he’d been dead for thirteen years. 

Wine finished, Craig finally looked at Tweek. Silence ticked by. An eternity seemed to pass. 

“Your name’s not really Pip, is it?” he asked finally. As Tweek’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest, Craig spoke again. “You wince every time I call you that. It’s why I’ve been avoiding it as much as possible.” 

Tweek sighed and shook his head. “No,” he agreed, dropping his twitchy act. “My name’s not Pip.” 

The silence ticked by again, Craig’s blue eyes burning into Tweek’s green pair. 

“How are you alive?” the noirette asked quietly. Tweek gulped. It _had_ been Craig. Satan had lied to him; he’d never left South Park after all. When Tweek didn’t answer, Craig took a deep breath, steading himself and continued. “You’re him, aren’t you? You’re Tweek Tweak? That’s why I was so drawn to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand things start to get interesting...


	10. Best Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments so far. They make me _soooooo happy_ :)

They didn’t have time. Craig had to get ready for work and Tweek’s story was not one he could rush. Craig had offered to call in sick but Tweek had frantically shaken his head, unable to stammer out any words. He’d barely managed a full sentence since Craig had called him by his name. His _real_ name. He didn’t know what to say. 

He’d never expected… He’s never meant… Suddenly, running into Craig didn’t feel like a coincidence. Suddenly it seemed as if fate had been drawing them back together after all these years. Tweek didn’t know how to handle that. That was _way too much pressure!_

Returning from the shower, Craig gave Tweek a look the imp couldn’t decipher. “I need to go to work,” he said finally. “Will you stay here? I’ll be back at two.”

Tweek nodded numbly, his body not allowing him to do anything else. Craig gave him another uncertain look and then nodded his own head. “Okay,” he said and then he left, leaving Tweek alone in his apartment. 

Tweek waited ten minutes, to be sure that Craig was really gone and then flew towards the door, ready to get out, grab Kenny and leave town as fast as humanly possible. It had been a colossal fucking mistake returning to South Park. What had he been thinking? He _hadn’t_ been thinking!

First his father looked at him like he was a stranger (Tweek liked to think if his mother was still alive, she would have _known._ ) and then it turned out that Lucifer had been a lying sack of shit all these years and the boy he’d been trapped with for that month prior to his death was alive and well in South Park. The boy was Craig Tucker. Tweek had _fucked_ Craig Tucker. Jesus Christ… 

His hand hesitated on the door handle, not turning it. He slammed his forehead against the wood and then repeated the action a second time for good measure, hard enough to see stars. His legs buckled underneath him and he let his body sink heavily to the floor. 

What a mess. What a fucking mess… 

Tweek stayed against the door for a long time. He knew he should leave, knew that staying for Craig to return would mean telling the man all about Hell and being an imp and probably many other things that most definitely broke the rules. Not that he was a stranger to breaking rules… He really should send Kenny a message, get the hell out of South Park –

-Craig still had their truck. Tweek groaned as he remember the little bit of impish magic he had cast and how it had gone horribly wrong. He hadn’t had a chance to tell Kenny about that yet. He was sure the immortal would be annoyed at him. But, of course, thinking about Kenny just reminded Tweek about what had happened between them and gave him all the more to panic about. 

Tweek hadn’t felt this anxious in a long time. Even the ever present threat of Satan and Damien coming after him didn’t usually get him this worked up. Apparently love was way more stressful than the devil himself. Tweek laughed humourlessly at that thought. 

When Craig returned, just after 2 AM, Tweek was still in his apartment. He was sitting cross legged in the centre of the floor with a messy scattering of papers surrounding him. 

The noirette froze, a frown touching his lips. “…What’s this?” 

Tweek help up an old newspaper clipping. _Body of missing seven-year-old discovered_ was plastered across the top. Underneath it was a photo of a wide eyed, clearly uncomfortable, little boy with wild hair. 

“This is clearly me,” Tweek raged. “Did you know from the beginning?”

“The beginning?” Craig echoed. “Tweek, we only met yesterday! You make it sound like this has been going on for ages.”

“Did you know before or after you fucked me?” the imp spat. 

“Jesus! Of course I didn’t know. That little boy in the picture,” Craig waved a hand towards the newspaper clipping, “he was dead! I thought you were _dead_.”

“Then what?” Tweek demanded.

“I felt drawn to you, you know that. I’m pretty sure you were drawn to me, as well. But I didn’t know you were Tweek Tweak. How could I? You were meant to have died thirteen years ago. Christ, your mom killed herself over it!”

Tweek stood up abruptly, his eyes actually flashing red in his anger. Craig took a step back, his own blue pair wide with shock. “What are you?” he asked quietly. 

Feeling too angry to care about the consequences, Tweek let his glamour drop, revealing his true self to Craig. Instead of feet, he stood on hooves, the red fur of his goats legs messily spilling over them. Curved red horns protruded from his forehead, curling back into his wild blond hair. Fire danced in his eyes and he grinned slyly at the man before him. 

“You’re a demon,” Craig said, though he didn’t sound horrified. 

When Tweek had revealed himself to mortals before (sometimes the damn rednecks just wouldn’t kill Kenny without a little extra motivation!) they had always screamed and stuttered. Some had sobbed. Some had wet themselves. It thrilled Tweek to see their fear. As a human (hell, as an imp compared to the other imps of Hell) he was wholly unimpressive, so to finally have people staring at him wide eyed, well, Tweek could hardly be blamed for loving it. 

Craig, however, just stared, cocking his head slightly. Tweek remembered how bored the noirette had sounded when he’d mentioned the lasers shooting from his eyes; did anything faze this man?

Tweek, who had always been slightly unsteady on his hooves anyway, felt his legs crumple. He landed in an ungraceful heap on the floor and the fire extinguished from his eyes as the tears started flowing. Suddenly, Craig looked uncomfortable. Angry demons he could deal with but, crying ones? _That_ was what fazed him? 

“Hey,” Craig said quietly, coming over and crouching before the sobbing imp. He put a hesitant hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “I shouldn’t have said that about your mom. I’m sorry.” 

Tweek looked up, his wide, watery eyes imploring. “I’m not alive,” he said, as if it were important Craig understood this. The idea that he had been alive all the while and his mom had killed herself because she thought he was dead… Tweek couldn’t handle that. 

“Well, you’re _something_ ,” Craig said. “But yeah, clearly not a living human being that’s for sure. Um…” He looked pointedly at Tweek’s horns. “I certainly didn’t expect to come home from work to those.”

“Sorry,” Tweek sniffed, “I just need to calm down a little and then I can hide them. I know I’m hideous.” 

Craig took his hands, squeezing them gently. “Dude, you’re not hideous.” 

“Don’t tell me you have a fetish for goat legs, man!” 

Craig laughed and shook his head. “I can’t say I do. The horns are kinda hot though.” It was Tweek’s turn to laugh. He shook his hands free from Craig’s to wipe at his eyes. Christ, he wasn’t sure he could embarrass himself any more if he tried. 

With a smile, Craig stood up. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Coffee,” Tweek whimpered. He daren’t try to stand. He’d probably only fall over again. It had been a long time since he’d walked around on hooves and Craig was being strangely sweet. He didn’t want to ruin it now. 

“Sure thing,” Craig said, grabbing himself a beer from the fridge. As he rattled around in the kitchen, Tweek gathered up all the papers he’d unearthed from searching Craig’s flat. Suddenly he felt bad about snooping, even if the only things he’d discovered had all been about himself. Then again, had Craig seriously believed he could leave a stranger in his flat for four hours and for that stranger not to snoop at all? 

He accepted the mug Craig handed him with trembling hands, instantly spilling some on his flesh. Craig winced, concern across his face but Tweek shook it away. “It’s fine man. I used to put my legs in lava pits to relax.” 

“Hot coffee doesn’t burn, got it.” 

“I thought you liked your life nice and boring and normal, man! How is none of this fazing you?” 

“I told you, weird shit happens in South Park all the time. You get used to it. We’ve had zombies and aliens and giant guinea pirates and Mecha-Streisand. I mean, Jesus even lives here and used to have his own talk show. You being a demon isn’t so strange.” 

“Giant guinea pirates?”

“Yeah. It’s the same thing I was telling you about at dinner. There were guinea bees and Guinea Saurus Rex’s too.” 

“Jesus Christ! And I thought Hell was weird!”

“There’s just something fucked up about South Park. I always wanted to get the hell out but… I guess I’m glad I stuck around now.” At his intense gaze, Tweek blushed. 

“Lucifer told me you’d left,” Tweek admitted. “It’s why it took me so long to figure out that you were _you_ , I guess. And, I mean, I never really saw your face properly or had newspaper clippings of you to look at.”

“Also, you were seven,” Craig pointed out. 

“When you mentioned that you used to want to be an astronaut,” Tweek said slowly, “is that something you told me back then?” At the time, he’d felt as if somebody had once said those words to him. It would make sense if it had been the same person who was saying them to him again, thirteen years later. 

“I don’t know, probably. That time’s a bit of a blur, if I’m honest.”

“Yeah, same,” Tweek said. 

“Did you ever find out why it all happened?” Craig asked softly. He took another swig of his beer. “Like, the guy just left me to escape after he… you know.”

“Killed me?” Tweek smiled at Craig’s horrified expression. “I’ve had thirteen years to accept it all, man. I’m not some delicate butterfly. But yeah, man, Lucifer explained it to me. Apparently, among some cultists, there’s a belief that if you lock up two children and sacrifice the one who tries to escape first then you can summon him.”

“Does it work?”

“Yeah, but only because Satan hates that shit, man. Child murder. If people summon him that way he appears and rips them to shreds.”

“Well, at least you got some kind of justice I guess…”

“Gah! I guess so, man.”

Silence fell over them. Tweek took that time to drink down his coffee. It was lukewarm now but still much nicer than any of the other coffee’s he’d had yet in South Park. So, Craig Tucker thought his horns were hot, could cook and make a decent coffee… If Tweek wasn’t hopelessly in love with Kenny, he was sure he’d fast fall for the noirette instead. 

“I’m sorry,” Craig said quietly all of a sudden, breaking the silence. Tweek frowned, looking at the man who sat across from him on the floor, despite there being plenty of perfectly suitable chairs in the room. 

“What for, man?”

“I couldn’t save you.”

Daring to try and move without his human legs, Tweek crawled over to Craig and cupped his face between his small hands, staring straight into his blue eyes. “Hey,” he said firmly, “that wasn’t your fault. Despite it putting your life in danger, you did your best to save me. You were seven for Christ sake! How many people can call themselves a hero at seven?” 

“I failed though.”

“Don’t you dare think that.”

“We were going to be best friends.”

“We still can be.” And then, because he didn’t know what else to do and, hell, just because he really wanted to in that moment, Tweek pressed his lips against Craig’s, kissing him deeply. When Craig didn’t pull away, despite the horns and the goat legs, Tweek found himself wondering whether it was normal to fall in love with two people at once because, scary and as sudden as it was, he was starting to think that he might be heading that way.


	11. It Hurts Like Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for the comments/kudos! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying this <3 Anyway... time to meet Clyde :)

Tweek wasn’t in the hotel room when Kenny returned from his tour of South Park with Marjorine. The immortal wasn’t sure how to feel about that. At least he didn’t have to face him, he supposed. It was sure to be awkward between the two of them after he ran out earlier. Goddamnit, why had he done that? Why did he always run away when things got tough? It was like he _wanted_ to be alone and miserable. 

Flopping onto the bed and blowing a pink and blond streak of hair from his face, Kenny fumbled for his cell phone. He scrolled through his contacts, pausing at Tweek’s name. He wanted so badly to hit call. His finger lingered over the button. 

Goddamnit…

_“Hello?”_

The phone was answered on the second ring and Kenny brightened somewhat, flipping back into an upright position. 

“Hey.”

_“Kenny?”_

“It’s me. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

_“You’re an ass.”_

“I am,” Kenny agreed. He felt like crying. He wondered if the cracking in his voice was obvious. “I’m a sorry ass.”

There was a small giggle, then silence. It dragged on and Kenny stared out the window, looking at the mountains without really seeing them.

_“…When are you coming back?”_

Kenny hesitated, before sighing. “I don’t know, Kare. Thing’s are… tricky.” 

_“Dad’s stopped threatening to shoot you if you walk through the door…”_ His little sister sounded so sad, it broke his heart. If there was anyone he loved more than Tweek in the world, it was Karen. It hurt him every day to think how he’d left her alone. 

“Did you get my last letter?” he asked.

_“Yes. Thank’s for the money.”_ Silence, then _“How’s Tweek?”_

“Uh, he’s… Um, I screwed up, Kare-bear.”

His younger sister tutted and he could virtually hear her roll her eyes. Karen knew all about Tweek and Kenny. Kenny didn’t keep secrets from his little sister. That said, he didn’t tell her everything, either. He was hardly willing to tell his seventeen-year-old sister that he and Tweek had been hooking up casually and that, fucking hell, that had been a colossal mistake now that he knew the truth. Christ, Kenny really was an idiot! 

_“What did you do?”_ she demanded. 

“Uh, it doesn’t matter. I’ll fix things.”

_“Like you fixed our family?”_ Ouch. Kenny winced, pulling the phone from his ear for a moment. He heard his sister apologise and brought the cell back to his ear. 

“You’re still saving all that money I send, right? So that you can get out when you turn eighteen?” 

_“I am. Look, I need to go, Ken. I love you, okay? And I miss you.”_

“I love you, too.”

_“Fix things with Tweek!”_

“I will,” he promised, though he wasn’t sure how he could. “Call me soon, okay, Kare?” 

_“Will do. Bye.”_ Karen hung up. Kenny stared at the ended call screen for a while before moving back to Tweek’s name. Once again, his finger lingered over the call button. Once again, he chickened out.

 

At half eight, Kenny made his way to Skeeters. Tweek still hadn’t shown his face, so he supposed he might as well get on with making preparations for whatever route they decided to go down. Lay the ground work, so to speak. Skeeter and the lawyer Gerald and his friends seemed to be regulars there, so it was the best place to start. 

He took a seat at the bar and smiled charmingly at Red, who was looking a little bedraggled but smiled coyly as she spotted him. 

“And what can I get you?” she asked in that flirtatious tone a lot of women seemed to use around him. 

“Other than a gorgeous smile?” He enjoyed watching just how red her cheeks grew; almost the same colour as her hair. _Cute._ “I’ll juts have a beer.” South Park didn’t seem to bothering with ID, not that Kenny didn’t have multiple different fake ones stashed away on his person at all times. His main one was still Kenneth McCormick but the rest were all under different aliases. With the kind of life Tweek and he lived, fake IDs were an essential and used with alarming regularity. 

“Here you go, sweetie,” she said, pushing a bottle over to him. “Shame you didn’t turn up earlier. I’m about to finish for the night.”

“And you can’t stay and have a drink with me?” Kenny pouted playfully. 

“I’m meeting my girlfriends otherwise you bet I would.”

“Another time then.”

Red’s eyes sparkled mischievously and she smirked. “I might just have to take you up on that.” 

Skeeter wasn’t about yet but, even still, Kenny leaned a little closer. “I look forward to it.”

Red left as a gorgeous dark haired guy stepped out behind the bar. Kenny smiled at him but was met with nothing but a cool glare. Turning on his bar stool, Kenny instead started to people watch, instantly spying Gerald and his two friends in what appeared to be their regular seats by the window. However, what struck his notice more than them was the ever so slightly chubby brunet sitting the other side of the room, glaring daggers at them. Kenny watched him for a few minutes, intrigued. 

Finally, he turned towards the handsome noirette. “What’s his poison?” He nodded his head to the brunet. The guy looked up, frowned and then turned his back to Kenny without a word. The immortal sighed and took another swig of his beer, mentally complaining about the rudeness of some people. 

Suddenly the noirette was sliding a drink over to him. Kenny arched an eyebrow. “Seriously?” The barkeeper just shrugged, indifferent, so Kenny picked up the drink and carried it over to the brunet. When he placed the glass in front of the young man he was met with surprised brown eyes. 

“Um…” 

“You look like you’ve had as bad a day as me,” Kenny said, shrugging. 

“So you got me a sex on the beach?” The brunet still looked throughly confused. Kenny looked up at the noirette who flipped him off with a small smirk. 

“ _Asshole…_ ”

“Ohhhh…” The brunet started laughing as he, too, glanced over at the bartender. Plucking the umbrella from the cocktail, the brunet raised it in a toast. “I’m still drinking this,” he told Kenny. “You can sit down, y’know, but if you’re here to hit on me I’m not interested.” 

“Not here to hit on you, dude,” Kenny assured him, slipping into the free seat. “I’m Kenny.”

“Clyde,” the brunet said, taking another sip of his cocktail. “Y’know… This ain’t half bad. OI, TUCKER! TWO MORE OF THESE DELICIOUS CHICK DRINKS PRONTO!” He poked his tongue out as the noirette flipped _him_ off this time instead. 

“What’s that guys problem?” Kenny asked, curiously. “He’s not said a word to me yet.”

“Oh, that’s just Craig. He’s like that with everyone.” 

“Fair enough. So, mind me asking why you’re glaring holes into that dude’s head? You look like you’re trying to make him drop down dead, man.” 

Clyde dropped his gaze to his drink, frowning into it as he took a sip. In his free hand he still played with the miniature parasol, twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. Kenny waited patiently, understanding that to push would be to make Clyde seize up and give him nothing. As he waited, Craig brought over their cocktails, placing one in front of each of them. 

“Thank you Craaaaig~!” 

“Piss off, Donovan.” The noirette’s voice was deep and slightly nasally. Kenny liked it; it suited him. He watched him go, appreciating his ass as he walked away. 

Clyde finished off his first cocktail and moved onto his second before finally answering Kenny’s question. “He’s my best friend’s dad.” 

“He a bad guy?”

“No, nothing like that.” Clyde shook his head, meeting Kenny’s gaze. “Not to Token anyway. But when we started high school, he suddenly decided that Craig and I were bad influences and stopped letting him hang out with us.”

“And were you?”

“Was I what?”

“A bad influence?” Kenny smirked a little flirtatiously. It wasn’t that he was attracted to Clyde, flirting was simply in his nature. He’d flirt with a goat if it could talk. Actually… He might have done that before, the memory was a little hazy… 

“Well, I certainly wasn’t a good one,” Clyde said lightly, shrugging. “But, man, that’s not the point! Token wanted to hang out with us and his dad was being a right dick about it.”

“Well, he’s a grown man now, right? Daddy can’t stop him. So where is he?” Kenny paused, frowning slightly as a thought occurred to him. “Shit, he’s not dead is he?”

“Jesus no! He’s at Harvard.”

“And you’re alone, getting drunk in a bar. I see his dad’s point.”

“Asshole,” Clyde said, though he smiled slightly. “Also, I’m not alone.” 

“Well, no. Not since I took pity on you.” Kenny took a sip of his own sex on the beach. It wasn’t necessarily a drink he would order again, but it wasn’t half bad. He could see why so many women drank it. “You’re right, this is okay.”

They fell into an easy silence for a bit, both of them watching the three men sat by their window seat, steadily getting rowdier the drunker they became. The man with black hair was especially noisy.

“You’re not in love with this Token guy are you?” Kenny asked finally, breaking the silence. Tweek had told him once he should learn to filter what comes out of his mouth. Judging by Clyde’s gawping expression, this was one of those cases. “I’m just saying,” Kenny said hastily, “that if you are, you shouldn’t let his asshole father stop you from acting on it. Listen, dude. I’m in love with my best friend and I waited too long to tell him and, well, _fuck_ , that’s why I’m here drinking with you right now.” 

Clyde didn’t say anything either way but his brown eyes seemed to glaze over, lost in thought as he seemed to consider what Kenny had told him. Deciding it was better to change the subject, Kenny spoke up again, “What can you tell me about them three?”

“Why?” Clyde furrowed his brow, retreating from whatever thought’s Kenny had stirred within him. 

“I’m new here,” Kenny shrugged. “Just trying to get the 411 on everyone in town.” That seemed to make sense to Clyde, who nodded. 

“Well, the black guy is Steve Black-”

“Wait!” Kenny held up his hand to stop him. “So is your friend called _Token Black_?! Jesus, you’re right, that guy’s a real monster!”

Clyde bit back a laugh. “It _is_ an unfortunate name. Anyway. He’s a rich son of a bitch. Owns the mansion up near Bijou’s.”

“What’s he do?”

“Hot shot lawyer.”

“Oh, like Gerald?” 

“You know Gerald?” 

“I met some girl named Marjorine earlier. She gave me a tour. We bumped into Gerald and had a brief chat,” Kenny said nonchalantly. He took another sip of his cocktail.

“I’d be careful around Marjorine. Eric Cartman seems to think he owns him- _shit_ \- her, sorry!”

“Not cool man,” Kenny said.

“No, I know,” Clyde said guiltily. “It’s just, I dunno, I knew Butters for so long, man. _Shit_ – I don’t even know if she told you. Jesus, why _would_ she tell you? It’s not like it’s something she goes around advertising.” Clyde was clearly panicking now and Kenny decided to take pity on the brunet before he dug himself into a deeper hole. 

“Who’s Eric Cartman?” 

Clyde looked instantly relieved, passing Kenny a nervous, grateful smile. “He’s the town’s psychopath. Like, seriously man. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of him.”

“Sound’s like a challenge.”

“It’s not, dude. That guy made chilli out of a kids parents when he was nine for fuck sake!”

“Jesus!” Kenny whistled. Now that he thought about it, he was sure he’d heard Damien talk about a psychopath called Cartman before. Damien liked to keep tabs on the worst of humanity; it gave him great pleasure. 

“Yeah, so I’d approach with caution.”

“Noted,” Kenny said. “So, going back. Who’s the dude with black hair?”

“Oh, that’s Randy Marsh. Get this! He’s actually Lorde.”

Kenny frowned and squinted at the middle aged man. “No fucking way. You’re shitting me. But Lorde’s a-”

“-Nope,” Clyde cut in before Kenny could finish his sentence. “Lorde’s a fat, ageing geologist who lives in South Park Colorado named Randy Marsh. Sorry to burst your bubble, dude.”

“Good job she was never in my spank bank then, right?” Kenny grinned and Clyde let out a giggle that reminded the blond of Tweek. He tried to push away the sudden, unwanted feelings that it brought about.

The rest of their evening was spent sipping cocktail after cocktail as they steadily got drunker together, until finally the bar closed and Craig kicked them out. 

“Craigey~! Come back to mine with us~” 

“No,” the noirette said bluntly. 

“But dudeeee,” the horribly drunk brunet whined, leaning heavily on Kenny, who was only slightly more sober than his new friend. 

“I have to get back home,” Craig said sharply. 

“Why? It’s not like you have any other friends waiting for you.” Clyde pouted. 

“Who says I don’t?” 

Gasping loudly, Clyde asked in an over dramatic voice, “Have you got a _guy_ coming round, Craigey?” 

Craig didn’t answer, flipped them off and slipped back inside the bar to finish closing up. Kenny frowned deeply, fighting his drunken haze as a horrible thought occurred to him. It wasn’t all that likely. After all, he was sure there were plenty of gay bachelors in South Park but, none the less… Had he just spent the entire evening in the presence of Tweek’s new lover? 

Once the thought wormed its way into his head, Kenny couldn’t shake it.


	12. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut ;)   
> Sorry if there is more mistakes than usual. I’m exhausted

Kenny was horribly hungover. It was mid afternoon and he’d been awake just long enough to double over Clyde’s toilet and spew his guts. He’d thrown up until there was nothing more to throw up and then he’d just hacked up acidic bile, his chest hurting as his body heaved, refusing to give him a break. When it finally, _mercifully_ , stopped, Kenny sat with his cheek pressed against the cool porcelain, feeling sorry for himself. 

“Jesus dude,” Clyde stood in the doorway, a look of pity across his face. He, too, looked rough but apparently the universe wasn’t fucking him over. _Perfect._

“I’m fine,” Kenny said, spitting into the toilet bowl. “Ugh. How much did we drink?” 

“Apparently more than you can handle, man,” Clyde said. After leaving Skeeters they had returned to Clyde’s place (or, technically, his dad’s. Kenny didn’t know where Mr Donovan was but he hadn’t been at home.) where they had continued drinking until the very early hours of the morning. They had both been drowning their sorrows and had, if Kenny recalled correctly, spent a great deal of time toasting their new friendship. 

“Fuck off,” Kenny grumbled. Heaving himself off the floor, he flushed the toilet and peered at his reflection in the mirror. He was chalky with a sheen of sweat on his brow. Dark bags circled his eyes and his hair was a disaster. A lump of sick was caught in his lip ring. Basically, he looked like utter shit. 

He splashed cold water onto his face, relishing in the way it refreshed him slightly. He swirled some of the cool water around in his mouth, spitting it into the basin. Finally, satisfied, he turned to Clyde. “Have you got any sunglasses?”

“Um… yeah?” Clyde frowned but went to retrieve a pair of aviators that clearly didn’t suit the brunet’s face. 

“Thanks. I’ll return these soon.” He slipped the aviators over his eyes and, with a wave to Clyde, left the house, desperate to hurry back to the hotel, shower and sleep off his hangover.

Despite South Park being bitterly cold, it was a sunny day and Kenny was thankful for the sunglasses as he hurried back to the Airport Hilton, his head pounding. 

Thankfully, when he let himself into Tweek’s and his shared room, he found it empty. Judging from the bed, either Kenny had just missed the cleaners or Tweek hadn’t returned last night. He expected the latter and couldn’t help but, once again, wonder whether it had been Craig, the handsome barkeeper, who he was seeing. If so, Kenny was seriously out of luck. Nobody could deny that the immortal was attractive but, compared to Craig, he was just… average. Why would Tweek look at him again when faced with that chiselled jawline and those piercing blue eyes? 

Feeling thoroughly depressed, Kenny shrugged out of his clothes and into the shower. The water was too hot, just how Tweek liked it, but Kenny couldn’t even be bothered to adjust the temperature. He let it burn into his flesh until he could no longer feel it. He stood under the cascade of water long enough to fill a swimming pool and then wrapped a towel around his waist, not even bothering to dry himself properly before he flopped facedown onto the bed. 

He was asleep within minutes. 

When he woke, what felt like minutes later, it was dark outside. It took Kenny a long moment to realise what it was that had stirred him awake. Tweek stood by the door, peering at him like a deer caught in headlights. The imp had obviously just let himself inside and hadn’t expected to be faced with Kenny, naked save for a – nope, wait, he’d managed to lose the towel in his sleep. _Great._ Quickly fumbling for the blankets to cover himself, Kenny offered Tweek a small, apologetic smile. A few days ago he would have laughed and flirted the situation away but things were different now. Things had changed and he no longer felt comfortable around his best friend. Things had obviously changed for Tweek too, if his wide eyes and flushed cheeks were anything to go by. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” Tweek said finally. He furrowed his brow as he peered at Kenny. “You look like shit, man,” he said finally. 

“I made a new friend.” Kenny shrugged, as if that explained everything. 

“Oh.” Tweek face fell. Kenny wasn’t sure the imp had any right to be jealous seeing as he’d clearly spent the night with his new _boyfriend_ but he rushed to clarify regardless, not likening the look in his friend’s eyes. 

“Not _that_ kind of friend.” 

“Oh, okay,” Tweek said, still lingering uncomfortably by the door. He looked like he was contemplating making a break for it. Kenny wondered how things had gotten so fucked up between them. If only they hadn’t of come to South Park, everything would have been fine. Why had he agreed to this stupid-ass idea? 

Unable to swallow the question back, Kenny asked in a quiet voice, “Is it Craig Tucker?”

Tweek let out a squeal, reminding Kenny very much of the jittery, anxious imp he’d been growing up. Sometimes he missed that Tweek an awful lot. The Tweek he’d become just didn’t feel… _right_ sometimes. 

“You don’t have to answer,” Kenny added hastily. “It’s just, I met him at Skeeter’s last night and something he said when I was leaving-”

“-Yes,” Tweek said quickly. “It is Craig.” 

“He’s hot.” Kenny felt his heart sinking down into uncharted depths where it would surely never be able to emerge from. 

“Kenny – ” Tweek took a hesitate step closer to the bed and then stopped, looking unsure. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Tweek.” Kenny said. More than anything, he wanted to leave the room. Leave before things became even more painful. But he was naked and, confident as Kenny were, he was not going to rush from the room in his birthday suit. 

Tweek swallowed and slowly approached the bed, sinking down as he sat on its edge, close enough that Kenny could reach out and – 

_No._ That time had passed. 

“And are _you_?” the imp asked quietly. “Happy,” he clarified. 

“Oh, you know me,” Kenny said offhandedly. “I’m always good.”

“That’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one.”

It was Kenny’s turn to swallow. Tweek knew him too well. 

“…I phoned Karen.”

Tweek finally turned to look at him, his eyes wide with concern. “Is she okay?” The imp had never actually met the youngest McCormick but Kenny had talked about her enough that sometimes he forgot that he hadn’t. 

“Yeah. Apparently dad’s cooled off a bit. She reckon’s it’d be safe for me to come home.”

Tweek didn’t say anything for a long time. Kenny couldn’t read his expression. “Is that what you want?” he asked finally. 

Kenny thought about it. Of course he missed his little sister dearly, and things were so awkward between him and Tweek right now that the idea of escaping was especially temping. But, if he left the imp, what was to say Satan wouldn’t come along and drag him straight back to Hell? Sometimes Kenny thought the only reason that hadn’t already happened was because Satan trusted Kenny to keep an eye on the imp. It would only make him more of a fucking failure than he already was if he abandoned the blond now. Besides, as horrible as things were between the pair right now, Kenny couldn’t imagine his life without the other.

“Is it what _you_ want?” he countered finally. Perhaps Tweek was hoping he’d vanish so that he could get on with his own life without interruptions and interference. 

“No way, man!” Tweek blurted quickly. Kenny let a small, relieved smile cross his lips. 

“Then I want to stay,” he said softly, reaching out to brush his fingers against Tweek’s. As soon as he touched his cold flesh, Kenny realised it was probably a stupid idea but, when he went to pull away, Tweek caught his fingers and entwined them with his own. Kenny felt his breath hitch and time seemed to slow down. He couldn’t believe such a small amount of contact was having such an effect on him. 

When their eyes locked it was as if time stopped altogether. Kenny wasn’t sure which one of them moved first but suddenly their lips were touching, their entwined hands gripping together tightly as if afraid the other would vanish if their grip slackened even a tiny bit. 

They kissed slowly, their tongues only just brushing. With his free hand, Kenny reached up to stroke his fingers lightly against Tweek’s cheek. As their lips pulled away from each other, their foreheads pressing together unwilling to be distanced further, Kenny brushed his thumb against Tweek’s damp bottom lip. Tweek shuddered slightly and a small smile touched Kenny’s face. 

Like magnets, their lips were drawn together again. Kenny flopped back down onto the bed, bringing Tweek with him. The laid on their sides, hands still twined between them, kissing slowly for what seemed like an entirety. Kenny didn’t want it to ever stop. They had never kissed like this before and he had never wanted the imp more. With his free hand he propped himself up, hovering over the blond who whimpered at the loss of lips against his. 

Looking deeply into Tweek’s green eyes, Kenny said, “I love you.” 

Tweek looked at him for a long moment, cheeks flushed, eyes wide. Then he raised his head, crashing his lips back against Kenny’s, kissing the immortal with more intensity this time. Freeing his hand from Tweek’s, Kenny moved it to the hem of the imps green shirt, sliding his hand under the material to brush lightly against his abdomen. Tweek arched at the touch, whimpering slightly against Kenny’s lips. 

Moving painfully slowly, Kenny one handedly undid Tweek’s shirt, making sure to purposefully brush his fingers against Tweek’s bare flesh with each button that popped open. He moved his lips to Tweek’s neck, just barely brushing them against the sensitive skin there and enjoying the reaction it encouraged from the imp. 

Kenny’s lips paused as a thought occurred him. Had Craig kissed the imp like this the previous night?

“What’s the matter?” Tweek asked, frowning. 

Kenny shook his head. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that right now, in this minute, it was _him_ kissing Tweek. It was _him_ touching the blond. And Tweek certainly didn’t seem to be complaining. “Nothing,” he murmured, returning his lips to Tweek’s for a deep kiss. He rolled on top of the smaller man, straddling him, his erection pushing into Tweek’s belly as they kissed. 

“I’d say it’s hugely unfair that I’m the only one naked here,” he said playfully into the imp’s ear, earning another small shudder of pleasure. 

“Not my problem that you seem incapable of dressing yourself,” Tweek countered but he was already raising his body slightly to shrug off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. 

“Why would I want to hide this magnificent body beneath clothes?” Kenny was working at the button of Tweek’s pants, smiling as they were kicked off and joined the shirt in a crumpled heap on the floor. “One more layer to go,” he said playfully, eyeing the boxers that hid Tweek’s erection from him. He snapped the elasticated waste against Tweek’s hip, earning a hiss and a buck of hips against his own that sent a shiver down his spine. Unable to resist any longer, he freed Tweek from his last item of clothing, leaving the smaller man laying beneath him completely naked. For an agent of the Devil, Tweek sure looked angelic, what with his blond hair haloed around his face on the pillow and everything. Kenny smiled and brought his lips to the smaller man’s once more, nipping his bottom lip as he pulled away. Tweek pouted as Kenny withdrew but, as the immortal’s lips moved to his chest, he let out a satisfied moan. 

Trailing kisses, Kenny worked his way down, immensely enjoying the reactions it stirred from the imp the lower he got. He reached his belly button and then dragged his tongue slowly down until he reached Tweek’s hardness. He pushed his lips against the inside of the imp’s thigh before moving to kiss the tip of his penis, smirking as the blond bucked against him. Taking the length in his mouth, Kenny sucked lightly, using his tongue to massage its tip. Tweek let out a groan, his hands finding Kenny’s hair and gripping the blond and pink locks with his fingers as if trying to ground himself to bed, afraid he might float away in pleasure. 

“K-Kenny!” Tweek growled as the other bobbed his head, expertly taking the entirety of Tweek’s length in his mouth. This was not something they’d shared before and somehow, it was far more intimate than anything else they’d ever done. 

Kenny waited until Tweek was tugging almost painfully at his hair, body rolling in pleasure, before pulling away, giving his head one last flick with his tongue. Tweek gasped out and then pouted. Kenny watched his cock quiver, longing to be touched, for a brief moment before crawling back up Tweek’s body to bring their lips together once more.

“You’re such a tease,” Tweek complained, pulling away for air. 

“All good things come to those who wait.”

“I’m done with waiting. I want you now.” The order was unexpected and hot. Kenny reached over to the bedside table where he’d left his bottle of lube, grateful that past him had been so considerate of current him. Slathering some of the liquid over his fingers, he slid them inside of Tweek, enjoying the hiss of pleasure it encouraged from the imp. They kissed again desperately as he pumped his fingers inside of the imp until, finally, neither of them could hold back any longer. They were desperate for the feel of each other, as if it had been far too long since Kenny had last moved inside of the coffee addict. 

Slathering lube over himself, Kenny pressed against Tweek’s entrance. He groaned against Tweek’s lips as he slowly pushed his way inside until he filled Tweek completely. He stayed there, not moving, for a long moment, just gazing into Tweek’s beautiful eyes. 

He brushed his lips lovingly against Tweek’s before he began to move, drawing his hips back before slowly pushing back inside. 

“Kenny,” Tweek whimpered, hands threading through the immortals hair, pulling his lips back down to meet his own. 

Everything they did was slow and loving, a complete contrast to their usual, heated, for lack of a better word, _fucking._ They took their time, hands relishing gentle caresses, lips moving tenderly together. It was intoxicating to have one another like this. Kenny couldn’t believe it had taken them so long. He wished they could stay like it forever. 

He was not, however, some kind of super hero. Eventually, the build up to his release became too much. Pumping Tweek’s hardness between them, he felt the smaller man shudder and tense beneath him, letting out whimpers that just drove him wild, and it was enough to spur on his own climax. He moaned out, waves of pleasure rolling across him, sending him to space and back. He collapsed on top of Tweek, his sweaty body still trembling, all strength drained from him, rendering him little more than useless. 

They laid like that for a long time, Tweek tracing patterns on Kenny’s bare flesh. For the first time, neither tried to run away after the deed was done. The time for that had passed. Kenny no longer had to fear that Tweek might look at him in disgust afterwards. Apparent he’d never had to fear that in the first place. He’d just been stupid. He’d imagined things that weren’t there. He’d convinced himself that his feelings weren’t reciprocated; that Tweek was just pity fucking him or caught up in the moment or something. 

Oh, how wrong he’d been. 

When he eventually found the energy, Kenny rolled off Tweek, bunching the smaller man into his arms, afraid that if he didn’t cling on tightly, the other would vanish. He frowned as he noticed Tweek’s expression. 

Planting a kiss on the imp’s nose, he asked “What’s up?”

Tweek stayed silent, bitting his nip nervously, his wide eyes full of uncertainty. Kenny felt his heart sink. He was going to say he regretted it. He was going to say it could never happen again… Kenny wasn’t sure he could handle those words. After what they had just shared, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough. He couldn’t let Tweek say it. Not right now, not when they were curled up together like this. Before Tweek could pluck up the courage, he kissed the imp again, a desperate, passionate kiss that he poured all his feelings into. Tweek responded with fire and, when they finally pulled apart to breathe, Kenny rested his forehead against the imps. “I love you,” he said again. 

“I love you, too,” Tweek said. Kenny didn’t miss the sadness in his tone but he chose to ignore it. He pulled the imp closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are gonna get messy... Oh boy, I can’t just let our boys have their moment of happiness now, can I? :P


	13. Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head’s not really in the best place right now, so sorry for slow updates. I’ll try not to leave it too long

Tweek hadn’t meant any of it. He hadn’t meant to sleep with Kenny. Again. He hadn’t meant to tell him he loved him. He hadn’t meant to sneak off after the immortal had fallen asleep. He hadn’t meant to find his way back to Craig’s place and he _certainly_ hadn’t meant to have started to fall in love with the noirette as well. If he could call it love. Perhaps it was just infatuation. Perhaps it was just escapism. Tweek wasn’t sure what the right word for it was but, either way, he was drawn to Craig in a way he’d never been drawn to anyone before. 

It was all pretty fucked up, really. Tweek didn’t know how to handle the situation. It was all way too much pressure. 

If Kenny’s true feelings had come out a week ago none of this mess would have happened. Hell, they probably wouldn’t have even come to South Park. They’d have probably just hauled up in some fancy ass hotel and spent the foreseeable future in bed. It would have been perfect. 

Kenny’s true feelings hadn’t come out, though, and they _had_ ended up in South Park. And from the very minute Tweek had bumped into Craig, he’d know the noirette was special and, as soon as he’d figure out who he really was, that was it for Tweek. They’d shared something. It didn’t matter that it happened thirteen years ago. It didn’t matter that Tweek had died while Craig survived. They had a bond. You couldn’t spend a month locked in a dark prison cell with someone and _not_ have a bond.

Craig felt it too, their connection. He didn’t even care that Tweek was an agent of the devil with horns and goat legs. He didn’t care that most people would consider it weird that they felt so strongly about the other after such a short amount of time. 

With Craig there was no uncertainty. There was no being left behind while he went out and screwed other people (Well, now it was apparently _Tweek_ doing that to Craig instead). It was just… good. 

The problem was, it was good with Kenny, too. And Tweek had loved Kenny far longer than he’d ever loved Craig. (If he could honestly love someone after only a couple of days.) He’d loved Kenny for so long he couldn’t ever imagine _not_ loving Kenny. GAH! It was all just so confusing! How was he meant to choose? He couldn’t have them both but he didn’t see how he was meant to possibly pick between them. 

The choice should have been easy, of course. It should have been Kenny, without a doubt. The fact that it wasn’t so simple scared Tweek. It made him doubt, made him want to curl up into a little ball and scream. Made him want to run away back to Hell. 

It wasn’t fair. When had life become so complicated? 

Craig had smiled brightly when he’d let Tweek in, surprised, but pleased, to see the blond back so soon. Tweek had gone straight over to the window, _their_ window, and crossed his arms, staring out into the late evening sky. 

Craig made coffee before joining him, pressing it into the grateful imp’s hands. He didn’t ask what the matter was, or try to force any kind of conversation. They simply stood together and stared at the outside world in silence. It was nice. It was _perfect._

“Do you have to work tonight?” Tweek asked. 

“Not tonight, no.” 

“Good.” He offered the noirette a small, half smile. “Wanna eat junk food and binge TV?”

“I’ve never heard a more perfect suggestion.” 

 

Several hours later found the pair sprawled across the floor in a mess of blankets, City Wok takeout boxes scattered around them, their eyes glued to the TV.

“I still can’t believe you’ve never watched this before, man!” Tweek enthused. They were halfway through season two of Rick and Morty, having devoted their evening to the show that Craig had never before watched. He hadn’t even heard of it, much to Tweek’s dismay. Tweek himself watched a lot of TV to strive off the boredom of being left alone whenever Kenny vanished for hours on end. Having had nothing like that in Hell, he found it all fascinating and was often finding something new to become addicted to. 

“Well, I’m watching it now,” Craig said with a half shrug. “Better late than never.”

“If we’d have grown up together there would have been no way I’d have allowed you to slack like you do, man,” Tweek said. 

“Oh? You’d have chained me to a chair in front of the TV would you?”

“If I had to.” Tweek shrugged. 

“Kinky.” Craig arched an eyebrow and smirked at the small blond. The imp rolled his eyes and pushed at Craig’s shoulder but now his mind was filled with Craig naked and bound to a chair and – 

“GAH!” Tweek shook his head frantically, aware of how red his cheeks must have turned. Craig didn’t say anything but his smile grew a little larger. 

“If we’d have grown up together I’d have taught you to recognise all the constellations in the sky,” Craig said after a beat of silence. 

“I’d have liked that,” Tweek admitted. “The way you spoke about space during that time… It gave me hope, y’know?”

“I’m glad.” Craig sounded sad. He was obviously thinking about how he’d survived the experience and the other… _hadn’t._ Tweek didn’t like seeing Craig upset and not knowing how to fix it. He had never once blamed the noirette for surviving. Tweek wasn’t even sure he’d wish away his death if he could. He probably wouldn’t have met Kenny if he’d never died and, while things were awkward between them right now, he was still so grateful to have the immortal in his life. 

“Come on! Let’s watch the next episode, man! It’s a good ‘un!” 

Two hours later and Craig had fallen asleep in his nest of blankets. Tweek lay watching him in the dark, only the glow of the long since paused TV lighting him up. Asleep, he almost looked childlike. There was a softness about him that wasn’t present while awake. He almost looked vulnerable, leaving Tweek wishing to protect him. The only person Craig needed protecting from, however, was himself. Tweek knew he’d end up hurting the noirette one way or another. How could he not? Either he was going to end up choosing Kenny, or he was going to end up being dragged back down to Hell. There simply was no happily ever after for him and Craig; it wasn’t even a possibility. And yet, he couldn’t help but wish otherwise. 

Tweek allowed himself to wondered what it would be like to wake up every day next to Craig. To kiss him goodbye as he left for work and kiss him hello as he returned. Perhaps he could even get a job himself? Perhaps he could help his father turn Tweek Bros. into the kind of coffee shop that drew customers in because of the quality of their brew and not the addictive drugs it was spiked with. It was nice to imagine a human life for himself, the kind of life he might have had had he made it to this age without dying. 

It was all fantasy, of course. One of these days either Damien or his father would come to the surface and haul him back down to Hell and even Kenny wouldn’t be able to spring him again. It surprised him every day that it hadn’t happened yet. They must have noticed him gone. It had been well over a year now and even though they were both immortal and so didn’t really pay attention to time the same way humans did, they would have had to be really oblivious not to have noticed him missing.

Maybe the really hadn’t noticed, though? Tweek had thought Lucifer was fond of him but maybe it had all been in his head. Maybe the devil had hated him really and was glad to see the back of him, even if it did break all the rules. Perhaps Hell had had a party the day Kenny snatched him away…

The idea of Hell not missing him was a conflicting one. On the one hand, Hell was his home and Lucifer and Damien were his family. It would hurt to learn they didn’t care even slightly. However, on the other hand it meant he could stay here on the surface forever, with Kenny and Craig. Tweek couldn’t imagine anything better. Except, of course, for the fact that things were awkward as anything between him and Kenny and that he was torn between his feelings for the blond and the noirette. 

Oh, what an awful person he was. He hated to imagine how Kenny had felt when he’d woken and discovered that Tweek had run off. It wouldn’t have taken the immortal more than a few minutes to realise where the imp had gone. It had probably broken his heart. He probably hated Tweek… And he should! Tweek deserved to be hated. 

Tweek didn’t deserve either man and yet, he was not strong enough to walk away. Not from either of them, it seemed. 

Tweek was weak and Craig and Kenny were both going to suffer for it.


	14. Damned Are The Living

Kenny wandered the dark streets aimlessly, his cold hands buried deep within the pockets of his parka. The parka Tweek had bought especially for him. Except, Tweek had probably just picked up the first thing he’d come to and put no thought into it. Because Tweek didn’t care about him, he couldn’t, not after sneaking off while Kenny slept. 

He didn’t blame the imp, of course. For years he had been convinced that Tweek saw him as nothing more than a mildly irritating friend. It had sucked, but Kenny had grown used to it. He accepted that that was his role. And then everything had changed and suddenly Kenny was faced with new, fresh and exciting hope. Except it was too little, too late. Any feelings Tweek might have had had vanished and what had happened between them earlier had probably been a pity fuck. Kenny’s hope had shattered like a mirror being dropped on the ground.

And now, of course, he felt like shit. 

Maybe he should just leave after all? Tweek had clearly made his choice. He had chosen Craig. What was the point in sticking around to further have his heart broken? Karen said it should be safe for him to come home and hell if he didn’t miss his little sister something wicked. So, yeah, maybe he should just go. Maybe –

Loud music suddenly met his ears as a reckless driver screeched around the corner. Kenny jumped away from the road; he had been hit by cars far too many times in his life to be anything but cautious. Fortunately, although clearly drunk and rowdy idiots inside the vehicle, they didn’t swerve towards him. 

Kenny let out a sigh of relief. 

And then, because Death is a cunt, a glass bottle flew from the open window and smashed heavily against Kenny’s head, dropping him instantly. 

 

An unexpected visit to Hell. Just what he needed. Now he just needed to spend the next however long avoiding Damien and Pip and Sat-

“Kenny.” Kenny froze, screwing up his face in frustration. Forcing his face muscles to relax, he turned around to see Satan standing behind him in all his big, red glory. 

Fucking typical. 

“Satan,” he said, cool as a cucumber despite his fists being clenched nervously, his nails biting into his flesh almost hard enough to draw blood. 

“I think we need to chat,” the devil said and, without waiting for an answer, turned to walk away. Kenny debated running away and hiding but this was Satan. You couldn’t run from the devil, not unless you wanted to get burned. 

Dejectedly, Kenny followed him to his personal quarters. When Satan gestured, Kenny took a seat on the pink sofa. 

“So,” Satan said, putting his hands on his hips and turning to stare basically into Kenny’s soul. “How’s Tweek?”

“Uh –” Kenny rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. What was he meant to say? They had agreed that, if asked, Kenny was meant to pretend he didn’t know where Tweek was. ‘He’s gotta be down here _somewhere_ ,’ was the line he was supposed to give. 

However, the look Satan was giving him made him unable to spurt the lie. Fuck, it was hardly as if the devil _didn’t_ know that the imp was with the immortal anyway. It was pretty damn obvious and he _was_ Satan for Christ sake!

“He’s fine,” Kenny said, looking at the ground. It wasn’t like him to be awkward. He was Kenny McCormick. He radiated confidence and was a cocky little fuck. Yet, right now, he felt like a naughty child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Not that Kenny had ever had the chance to steal cookies as a child (at least not from his parents) what with them being poor as sin. 

“Good,” Satan said, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Fuck, you know how many rules that little shit is breaking?” He ran a red hand over his left horn, a nervous habit of his Kenny had picked up on over the years. “He’s dead, Kenny. Shit, I know it was fucking unfair, man, but he can’t just decide to leave Hell, y’know? That’s just not how this shit works.”

“Are you gonna force him to come back?”

“Shit, I dunno, man. I fucking _should_ ,” Satan said, glaring moodily at the immortal. 

“But?” Kenny looked up hopefully. It sounded like there was going to be a but. As weird as things were between Tweek and him right now, Kenny didn’t want the imp to end up back in Hell. Obviously it would have to happen eventually, but the blond deserved more time. He deserved to live the life he’d been denied, even if it was with _Craig the Barkeeper_ over him. 

“But, I dunno. If he’s with you, I guess I could give him a little longer or something. _Fuck_ , this is messed up.”

“I’ll look after him, I promise,” Kenny said, realising that that meant he had to stay in South Park even though it was going to hurt like hell to even look at Tweek after he snuck out on him. Still, he could suffer a bit if it meant Tweek got to stay happy and on the surface. The imp had always been so miserable in Hell. Kenny hadn’t seen him truly _living_ until they had broken out together. Tweek deserved that kind of happiness and Kenny would do anything for him, even suffer through watching him fall in love with somebody else. 

“You fucking better, McCormick,” Satan said. “If he gets up to serious trouble it’s my ass on the line. That motherfucker would just love to get me for this. So fucking behave, alright?” 

“No trouble, got it.” Kenny saluted, mentally wondering whether tricking people into paying blood money counted as ‘trouble’. 

Satan narrowed his eyes, clearly suspicious, before huffing out a sigh. The devil looked tired, Kenny noted. He wondered whether he’d broken up with his latest boyfriend or something. He was always a little irritable after a breakup. “Look, just get the fuck out of here, alright?” 

So Kenny got the fuck out. 

 

“Fuck you want?” Kenny was sitting on a rock by Tweek and his lava pool, the one they had first met at. Whatever powers that be brought him back to life were taking their sweet time today and he was getting impatient and pissed off. He’d been thinking a lot on what Satan had said and wondering how he was meant to tell Tweek that the devil knew he was missing when Pip had come to a stop behind him. 

“How’d you do, Kenneth?” Pip said brightly, flashing the immortal an annoying smile. 

“Fuck off.”

“Now really, I was just trying to say hello, dear chap.”

“I don’t know how Damien tolerates you.” Kenny was being an asshole, he knew, but he was feeling so shitty about his own life that he couldn’t help but try and make somebody else’s just as miserable. What could he say? He was a childish dick at heart. 

“Being a twat to me won’t make you feel better, you know,” Pip said wisely. 

“It might,” Kenny grumbled. 

“What is bothering you, then?” Pip asked, ignoring Kenny’s hostility. The dead blond stood close to the lava, staring at the bubbling orange rather than the taller blond beside him. 

Pip was the kind of relentless idiot who couldn’t take a hint. Kenny had always found him insufferable. It didn’t help that Damien had dumped Tweek for him, although, now that Kenny thought about it, Tweek apparently hadn’t been as upset about that fact as he’d appeared at the time. Still, somehow the British man had managed to become Damien’s longest standing relationship. As he’d said aloud, Kenny honestly didn’t know what the son of the devil saw in him. 

Despite all that, Kenny realised that Pip was, potentially, the only person he _could_ speak to about the whole Tweek situation. He certainly couldn’t tell Damien, not that the noirette would give a shit. Nor did he really have any living friends he could confined in. There was Clyde, but their entire friendship consisted of one very drunken night. It was probably a bit too early to confine in the brunet about how one of his best friends was stealing Kenny’s imp lover away from him. 

Kenny opened his mouth to say something, anything – he wasn’t sure what – but then he felt a familiar sensation tingling through his body. He was being drawn back to the surface. It was time for him to wake up and face whatever situation was waiting for him up there. He hoped to God that he wasn’t in the morgue with his chest cut open.

“Sorry, dude. Out of luck. Go nose in somebody else’s business,” he said to Pip, flipping him the bird, before fading completely away.


	15. The Sons

“Holy crap, man. I thought you were dead.” Kenny groaned, stirring as loud voices roused him back to life. He didn’t recognise the voice that spoke to him and, when he cranked one eye slowly open, he realised it was an unfamiliar face peering down at him.

“Who the hell are you?” he grunted, feeling a little irritable, probably a linger feeling from having been stuck talking to Pip. 

The face peering down at him was kind, with sparkling blue eyes and a flop of messy black hair that fell into them. Behind him, scowling a little, was a green eyed, red haired man about the same age. They were both pretty cute; Kenny felt himself perk up a little. 

“I’m Stan,” the concerned noirette said. “Are you okay, man? We called an ambulance but this is South Park so it’ll probably be an hour if it turns up at all.”

“I’m great,” Kenny sat up and winced. Although his wounds healed, he often had lingering after effects depending on his death. When hit by a car, he often ached all over. Today, his head was thudding from where the bottle had hit it. 

“We thought you’d been hit by a car or something,” Stan continued, still looking worried. 

“I _said_ he was drunk,” the red head chipped in curtly. 

“Well _I_ thought you’d been hit. There’s a bit of blood on your forehead, by the way, man.”

Kenny wiped at his throbbing head, probably achieving nothing of merit. “Ugh,” he grunted, trying to climb to his feet only to be slammed with a rush of nausea. The bottle must have done some serious damage for him to still feel this rough. Unless it was someone’s idea of a joke. 

Stan reached out to steady him and, picking up on how the red head glowered, Kenny feigned nearly fainting, slouching heavily against the noirette. He over dramatically rubbed at his head again, saying in a small voice, “Some dickhead threw a bottle at me from a speeding car.” 

“Jesus,” Stan whistled. “We should definitely get you to the hospital. You might have a concussion or something.”

“No, I’m fine,” Kenny shook his head, “just a major fucking headache.”

“He said he’s fine, Stan,” the redhead said impatiently. He was still glaring at Kenny, who sunk further against Stan with an innocent smile. 

“Kyle, we can’t just leave him. What if he died? You want that on your conscious, huh?” 

Kenny’s smile grew genuine as he realised who he was standing with. Stan and Kyle. They had to be the sons of Randy Marsh and Gerald Broflovski, it was too big of a coincidence to be otherwise. What were the chances? Befriending them was a sure way to get closer to their fathers and figure out Tweek and his next move. At least with their minds on the job they wouldn’t have to think about the horrible situation going on between them. And then, when the job was done they could move on from South Park and leave all this mess behind them. Start afresh without the distraction of handsome bartenders. 

“He’s fine,” Kyle said, glaring. “He said so himself.”

“I dunno actually. My head hurts like a bitch,” Kenny said, feigning a wince. He was only over exaggerating a _little_ bit… His head really did hurt. 

Kyle sighed and stormed over, fiddling with his keychain as he walked. He got up into Kenny’s face, his green eyes almost level with Kenny’s blue pair and stared into them intently. “You’re eyes aren’t dilated,” he said curtly. Before Kenny could respond, he was holding his keys in his hand. Kenny winced, wondering in the pissed off red head was about to gauge his eyes out or something but all he did was flash a small torch into his eyes. “Pupils are responsive. You’re probably fine. Go home.”

“What are you, a doctor or something?” Kenny asked as Kyle stepped back, putting away his keys. 

“Pre-Med,” Kyle said, shrugging. 

“He’s gonna be a surgeon,” Stan said proudly, his arm still around Kenny much to his other halves clear annoyance. 

“Nice. You must be smart, huh?” Kenny made no attempt to move away from Stan. He was enjoying the redheads reaction far too much for that. 

“Yeah, must be,” Kyle said coldly. 

“He’s just being modest,” Stan said. “He’s the smartest person I know.” Wow, it almost made Kenny cringe just how in love with Kyle Stan was. He finally stepped away from the noirette. He wasn’t a home-breaker. Well, unless there was pay involved and, this time, the payout he was looking for was from the young men’s fathers. No sense in ruining a perfectly healthy relationship just for kicks. Kenny could be cruel, sometimes even needlessly so, but what with everything going down between Tweek and himself, he wasn’t about to try and make someone else suffer like he was. 

“So, what’s your name?” Stan asked him as Kenny slipped his hands into his pockets, slouching casually as he eyed the couple. 

“Kenny,” he said. 

“You new in town?”

“Just passing through.” He hoped that was still true. 

Kyle was tugging on Stan’s sleeve, making eyes at him that silently insisted they had to leave. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Kenny,” Stan said. “We’re in a bit of a rush, actually, so long as you’re sure you’re okay? I hope we catch you around before you leave town, though.” 

“I go to Skeeters most nights,” Kenny said, smiling brightly. Kyle made a face at the name of the bar; clearly he wasn’t a fan. To be honest, neither of them looked like the kind of patrons that the bar collected. They almost looked too hipster for a dull place like that.

“Ah nice,” Stan said politely. “Maybe I’ll catch you there then.” He shrugged innocently at the look Kyle shot him. Kenny couldn’t tell whether the red head was annoyed at the prospect of Stan meeting Kenny or hanging out in Skeeters. Both, probably. 

After checking that Kenny was okay a second and third time, Stan finally let Kyle drag him off. Kenny watched them go in amusement. Stan seemed like the kind of nice guy who was easily won over in friendship but Kyle seemed to be another story. Becoming friends with the fierce redhead would probably prove tricky but Kenny was nothing if not resourceful. Perhaps it wasn’t necessary but Kenny was feeling like a challenge. He needed something to keep his mind occupied and away from devilish blonds.

Speaking of keeping his mind occupied (and ‘devilish’ blondes for that matter) –

“Hey, Marjorine!” The immortal waved as he spotted a familiar cute blonde walking an overly hairy, huge dog across the road. The girl beamed from ear to ear as she spotted him, waving brightly and stepping into the road to greet him. Kenny was shocked at her disregard for road safety but, then again, not everyone was cursed with bad luck like he was. He doubted a car would appear out of nowhere and strike down a cute girl and her dog. 

“Kenny!” She was far too chirpy. It reminded Kenny that his head was still sore. She seemed to notice at the same time as him. “Geez, what happened?!” she asked, furrowing her brow. “You’re bleeding.”

“S’nothing,” he said, smiling at her. “Just hit my head, is all. I’m good. The _real_ question is, why’re you taking a bear for a walk? Jesus Christ, that thing is humongous!” The beast in question started sniffing at Kenny’s hands. Apparently likening what he smelled, he gave them a big, sloppy lick. Kenny laughed, wiping his hands on his pants. “Look, he likes me.”

“He likes everyone, _don’t you_ , you big monster?” Marjorine was suddenly on her knees, hugging the beast of an animal. “This is Alfred,” she said, turning her attention back to Kenny. 

“Alfred?” He arched an eyebrow. 

“It suits him,” Marjorine said a little stubbornly. “And he’s not a bear, silly. He’s a Newfoundland dog.”

Kenny decided not to point out that he’d been joking about the bear thing, instead he just petted Alfred on the head, earning another lick to the hand for his effort. Marjorine watched him with a fond smile but, when he raised his gaze to meet hers and grin back, she frowned. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, fella? That must’ve been quite some hit to the head.”

“Oh this?” Kenny brushed it off. “It’s a tiny cut. Head wounds bleed a lot. I just need to clean up, is all.” 

“Well, my house is just round the corner if you wanna use my bathroom. We were just heading home, weren’t we, Alfred?” 

If this had been anybody else – Red, perhaps? – Kenny would have made an inappropriate joke about being invited home but, with Marjorine, it just seemed _wrong_. She was too pure for the likes of Kenny but he found her intriguing none the less. It was this intrigue that led him to saying yes and, five minutes later she was letting him inside her house. 

The house was much like all the houses he’d seen so far in South Park. Apparently middle class, decent sized with a separate garage. 

“You live with your parents?” he asked. It seemed unlikely that a girl her age could afford a place like this.

“Gosh no,” she said and Kenny recalled his first meeting with the blonde and how she had scowled when her parent’s were mentioned. “I actually got emancipated from them when I was fifteen. They weren’t very… _nice_ to me, my pa especially. I still visit them, but… well…” Kenny wasn’t entirely sure what that meant but he certainly didn’t plan to ask. “I came into some money when one’ve my mom’s relatives died so I bought this lil’ place. It’s a murder house so it was going cheap. Mind you, alota homes in South Park are murder homes.” The blonde was so flippant about the whole thing, Kenny couldn’t help but smile fondly at her, impressed. “Besides, Alfred here protects me from any mean ghosts. An’ Eric pops ‘round a lot.”

“The not-boyfriend?” Kenny recalled. 

Marjorine smiled, “That’s the one.” 

She led him to the bathroom and made him sit at the edge of the tub as she rooted through the medical cabinet for disinfectant and bandaids. Her fingers moved gently across his skin as she worked on cleaning him up, humming an unfamiliar tune as she did so. Eventually, her smile turned into a frown, her fingers pushing back his hair, searching for the cut Kenny knew she couldn’t find. 

“Like I said, it’s probably tiny,” Kenny said quickly, jumping up and taking the bottle of disinfectant from her. “Thank you, Butterfly. Say, you know everyone, right? What can you tell me about Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski?” 

 

What Marjorine could tell him, it turned out, was an awful lot. She had known the pair since preschool and had had an on-off friendship with them during her childhood until, finally, in high school they became ‘best of buddies’ with each other. 

They were good guys, apparently, but trouble seemed to follow them around. As their friend, life had never been dull. There had been many occasions when hanging out with them had almost cost Marjorine her life. She didn’t regret it, though. _‘Not even for one minute.’_

They had been a trio: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman, although apparently the first two had hated the latter. Later on, Marjorine had become the fourth member of the gang. If you found one, the others were surely around somewhere close by. They got up to all sorts of misadventures together and times were good. Then high school ended and Stan and Kyle left for university while Marjorine and Eric stayed behind. The latter pair had started ‘seeing each’ other (Marjorine insisted it was a casual thing and mostly they were just friends) after that but Stan and Kyle hadn’t approved. Things had gotten a bit rocky for a while but Marjorine was sure everything would be all sunshine and rainbows again soon. She couldn’t wait to see her friends again. 

Marjorine was such a sweet person, Kenny felt bad using her as he was. He wasn’t sure if she liked him ( _though, why wouldn’t she?_ ) but if she did, then he was being a pretty shitty human being by flirting with her for information. 

It was weird. Kenny didn’t usually feel guilty about this sort of thing. He used people all the time and never usually felt conflicted about it. It wasn’t like he would ever see her again after they left South Park. 

Except… Kenny wasn’t sure if that was the plan anymore. He _hoped_ it was but it was so damn hard to be sure what was going on in Tweek’s head. Either way, he’d promised Satan that he’d be there for the imp and he couldn’t very well do that if he started to feel emotionally conflicted about certain South Park residents. 

Marjorine was different from anyone he’d ever met, though. She was sweet and a little naïve but Kenny could see a feisty ‘no bullshit’ side behind her innocence. More than anything, she intrigued him. Kenny wanted to know her story even though, by his own rules, getting close to people was a big fat no.

The rules, it seemed, were changing now, though. Tweek had let Craig in. Tweek had made it pretty clear that Kenny wasn’t his most important person anymore. So, really, why should Kenny suffer alone? If he was honest, he was angry with the imp. Angry enough that he was allowing himself to be swayed by his emotions.

“Are you okay, fella? You seem conflicted, like there’s an awful lot goin’ on in your mind.”

Kenny snapped back to reality and smiled at the blonde. “I’m good. Sorry. What were you saying?”

Well, wasn’t he just in a whirlwind of trouble?


	16. To Stay or to Run Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long. If you read my other fic you might know that I’ve been struggling with some stuff that’s zapped my creativity and motivation recently. That’s over now and, here’s hoping, that means I get my mojo back... To any of you who are still with me, I’ll try not to take so long to update next time *fingers crossed*

Tweek didn’t know what to do. He laid, green eyes blinking at the ceiling as that thought taunted him. He knew, sensibly, that he should probably return to the hotel but that would mean facing Kenny and he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to do that. Not yet, anyway. Still, he couldn’t very well camp out at Craig’s forever, even _if_ the noirette seemed in no rush to kick him out anytime soon, if, at all, ever. That, in itself, was just another problem. 

The pair of them had spent the night talking and dozing in their blanket fort on the floor, wrapped in one another’s arms. It had been warm. It had been safe. More than anything, it had felt like the life they could have had if they’d grown up together as children. Tweek felt nostalgic for a childhood he’d never had. 

The best bit about their night, though, had been that Tweek hadn’t thought about Kenny. Now however, as daylight breached through the oversized windows, the blond found that luxury slipping away from him. He found a torrent of thoughts overwhelming him, threatening to pull him under and into the dark abyss of below. It was horrible… it was… _He_ was horrible!

He hadn’t told Craig anything about Kenny. Even as they’d spend the night talking sleepily. It felt like a humongous lie, one that would land him in a whole other world of trouble when it finally came out, which it inevitably would if he stayed. What was he meant to say, though? _‘Oh, hey, you know we’ve got this thing? Well, I’ve also got this thing with my immortal best friend. I hope you don’t mind!’_ Tweek blanched at the very thought. It wasn’t as if they’d discussed being exclusive. Then again, what if it hadn’t occurred to Craig that they needed to? But were they even really a couple, anyway? Craig hadn’t asked Tweek to be his boyfriend, so maybe not. People could fuck and have it mean nothing more than that. Wasn’t that exactly what he’d thought was going on between himself and Kenny? 

Gah! It was all just so confusing! Tweek felt like slamming his head against the wall a few times to try and clear it a bit. He didn’t to wake Craig, though, who was still sleeping peacefully in a bundle of blankets, despite the blinding light that was casting an angelic glow across his tanned face. 

Without meaning to, Tweek found himself watched Craig for a while. He looked pretty adorable while sleeping. All soft edges, his almost permanent glower melted away through sleep. He wished it could be as easy as just falling in love with the noirette. He imagined they could have a future; a normal life where they were both happy and didn’t have to resort to any criminal behaviour to get by. Perhaps he could even get a job, a _real_ job! He wondered what it would be like to sit at a desk all day or serve coffee to short tempered assholes. He doubted it would be anywhere near as fun as watching people panic after shooting a hole though Kenny’s head (not that he enjoyed watching Kenny die but he certainly couldn’t deny the thrill of the con, _whatever_ he told the immortal). 

Of course, with Kenny back in his thoughts, he knew that that would never be. He had too much history with the immortal – had loved him for far too long – to run away with another man, even if it _were_ possible. _Right?_

Sighing, he pulled out his cell and opened google. In the search bar he typed _in love with two different men?_ There were a lot of articles on advice for how to choose between the two. He even found some advice on how to successfully cheat without being caught. The one that caught his eye, however, was the article on polyamorous relationships. Curious, he typed the word into the search engine and spent the next hour hour reading article upon article about the risks, benefits, dos and don’ts of being in a poly relationship. It all sounded very stressful to Tweek and, while he wouldn’t rule out Kenny being up for something like that, he doubted Craig would feel the same. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he, himself, would be able to handle it. He was near breaking already and what he had with the pair was causal at best, a disaster at worst. 

Finally, as Tweek feared he was about to enter a spiral of despair, Craig stirred. “Mornin’.” The noirette yawned sleepily. 

“I think it’s afternoon now,” Tweek said, not looking up from the latest article that had caught his attention. He closed the tab quickly as he felt rather than saw Craig stretching over to have a nose. He didn’t really want to explain why he was reading all about poly relationships to the man he’d only known for a handful of days, no matter how intimate they may have become with one another in those days. 

“Well,” Craig shrugged and sleepily stretched, sitting upright, “Can I get you anything?”

“I should actually head out,” Tweek said, although the idea of leaving his sanctuary terrified him. Would Kenny be mad? Would Kenny even be there? Maybe the blond had, fed up of Tweek’s antics, run home to be with his sister. Tweek certainly wouldn’t blame him, even if the very thought of it felt like a giant hand crushing his heart. 

Craig’s face fell. “Oh,” he said. “Yeah, okay then. I have to get to the garage anyway. The parts for your truck should be arriving today.”

“Excellent,” Tweek said, feeling a little disheartened. Once the truck was fixed, it would be wise for them to leave South Park. Okay, they hadn’t succeeding in getting any money but was the money worth the heartbreak that would surely come if they stayed? Tweek doubted it. There would be plenty other towns, plenty other targets. It had been a mistake to come to South Park. Tweek shouldn’t have suggested it. Coming here had ruined everything, and for what? A short fling doomed before it started? Tweek was dead and Craig was living. Tweek wasn’t even human anymore! And, worst of all, he was completely in love with Kenny even if he did have a funny way of showing it. 

Craig frowned slightly, as if realising something was up. The good thing with Craig, however, was that he didn’t press. Tweek liked that. It was something Kenny didn’t do. Kenny liked to know what was wrong and he had a way of making Tweek tell him even if the imp didn’t want to. It was nice to have somebody in his life who let him dwell on his problems without forcing him to open up before he was ready. 

“We’ll watch Steven Universe next time,” Tweek said, almost failing to keep his tone light as he realised it was a promise he couldn’t keep. He had to leave South Park. He’d done nothing but screw up since he’d arrived. He couldn’t risk it anymore, not even for the boy in the dark room who’d squeezed his hand so tightly every time a small noise had scared a yelp out of Tweek. 

“I’ll hold you to it,” Craig said, frowning a little as though he could read at least some of the thoughts spiralling around the imps crowded brain. “You sure you don’t want to shower or anything before you leave?” 

“I’m good,” Tweek said, climbing to his feet and stashing his cell phone away. His lips caught the noirette’s cheek before the taller man could stand and said cheek became far out of reach. “Last night was amazing. One of the best I’ve ever had.”

“…Is everything okay?”

“Gah! W-What?” Tweek jumped at the unexpected question. So much for Craig not pressing. 

“This goodbye just seems… a little final,” Craig said softly, his blue eyes boring into Tweek’s. His lips were pulled tightly into a worried frown. “You’re not leaving town, are you?”

“Well… Eventually,” Tweek admitted, finding the semi-truth easier to spit out than a flat out lie. 

“Oh.”

“Jesus,” Tweek rolled on his feels, feeling uncomfortable, “Craig… I was only ever, um… passing through.”

“You going back _there_?”

“There?” Tweek’s eyes widened as he realised what the noirette meant. “Oh, Jesus Christ, no! No, not if I can help it! But I have to keep moving so they don’t, like, catch up with me or anything.” Tweek wasn’t sure if that was true but he wanted to make this as easy as possible for Craig, even if he had to lie through his teeth to do it. 

“You’re not leaving yet, though, right? You promised me Steven Universe.”

“I’m not leaving yet,” Tweek said, holding gaze with the beautiful, intense blue orbs even though every inch of him was screaming for him to look away. 

He had no idea whether it was a lie or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea whether this’ll become Poly or not (I’m still completely torn over which direction this is heading) but, I wanted to set up some ground work so that I could head in that direction if that’s what I feel ends up working best. 
> 
> I’m hoping to step back from some of the love triangle drama for a bit and bring back some Twenny criminal stuff because that was what made this story so fun to write to begin with and it kind of vanished with the introduction of Craig. I have a couple of ideas so I’ll try and get back into the swing of writing and work out exactly what’s going on. Hopefully, I’ll see you guys again soon!


	17. Forever Is A Damn Long Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another messy chapter. Still desperately trying to get back into the flow of writing this... 
> 
> Thanks to all the comments and kudos <3

When Kenny returned to the hotel room that night he expected it to be empty. Instead he found Tweek, face planted into the desk surrounded by what appeared to be the aftermath of a tsunami of paper. Clearly, whatever had finally drawn the imp home had kept him busy. 

Careful to remain as quiet as possible, Kenny crept over to the blond and picked up the nearest piece of paper. It was a list of locations. Some were crossed out, others sported a question mark next to them. Kenny recognised only some of the towns; Tweek was searching for their next destination. His heart fluttered slightly and his gaze dropped to the sleeping imp. Did Tweek want to escape this town that was ruining them, too? Had he finally grown bored of his handsome barkeeper in favour of the immortal? Or, was Kenny simply reading too much into it? He picked up the next scrap of paper. This one outlined a messy plan of how to encourage Steve Black and his friends to kill Kenny and pay for Tweek’s silence on the issue. Beside it was Kenny’s messy, almost illegible notes on the three men that he’d managed to learn over the past few days. It made him smile that Tweek had managed to decipher to horrid handwriting. 

With his light eyelashes brushing his face and his mouth hanging slightly agape, a piece of doodled on paper pressed against his cheek, the imp looked so innocent. Kenny could almost forget how he’d run away from him the last time they’d been together. _Almost._ That memory still stung enough that he couldn’t forget it completely. Still, if Tweek was ready to leave South Park then perhaps things could return to normal. No, _better_ than normal. Kenny couldn’t imagine going back to before. Back to when both thought the other wanted nothing more than casual sex. Back to when they both thought their feels weren’t reciprocated. Going back to that would be hell. _Worse_ than hell, and Kenny should know. He frequented the place enough. 

He didn’t realise he was still staring at the imp until forest green eyes opened to stare back at him. Tweek didn’t say anything but his eyes widened from their spot pressed against the desk. Kenny felt his heart race faster in his chest. He was certain those eyes help magical powers that he was vulnerable to. They froze him to the spot, refusing to allow him to escape their penetrating stare. 

“Did I wake you?” Kenny asked finally, breaking the spell and – somehow – looking away. 

“Kinda hard to sleep through somebody staring at you, man!” Tweek said, too quickly. Things were definitely still awkward between them. Kenny supposed that was to be expected, whether he liked it or not. He thought about apologising but he didn’t want to draw more attention to the awkward air between them. Besides, if either of them needed to apologise, it was Tweek, right? He was the one who snuck out when Kenny was sleeping to be with his _other boyfriend._

“Saw your notes,” he said instead. “We leaving?”

“ _Gah,_ I dunno, man! What do you want to do?”

Kenny wanted to say that they should leave, right this minute and never look back. Things could be so good between them if only there were no obstacles in the way. Still, they’d come here thinking this place would be their big break. They had used most of the money they’d earned on their last couple of jobs on the hotel here alone. If they didn’t swindle some money out of _somebody_ in South Park, they would quite likely be broke before they could move on. 

“We should finish the job,” he said, sounding more determined than he felt. “I’ve learned a decent amount about our targets from my source. From what she’s told me, it shouldn’t be too hard. Gerald Broflovski and Randy Marsh are especially temperamental.” Tweek’s face fell at the mention of Kenny’s female source but Kenny didn’t try and ease his mind, despite the fact that there was _nothing_ going on between him and Marjorine. It was cruel and just a little childish but he couldn’t help himself. 

“Okay,” Tweek agreed. “We should seek them out in Skeeters and lay the ground work, right?” Usually the ground work comprised of Kenny flirting and or hooking up with an important person to their target. If they had decided to go after Skeeter, for example, he would have hooked up with the cute barmaid, Red. This was different, though. They weren’t targeting hot blooded rednecks but civilised, middle to upper class men. Randy Marsh (AKA – if Clyde was to be believed – Lorde) was the only one with a daughter but apparently she lived out of town. Kenny probably _could_ charm one of the wives but then again, they were unlikely to go further than a little flirting with someone like him. Then there were the sons, of course…

“Are we doing the usual?” he asked Tweek. “If so, our best bet is one of the sons but I’m not sure how well that’ll work. I’ve met Stan and Kyle and they didn’t seem like they’d play ball. The Black’s boy lives out of town and is possibly smitten with his best friend.”

“We could take a different approach?” 

The strictly all business conversation was making Kenny feel more than a little uneasy. They were never like this. Yes, they had conversations just like the one they were having now but usually it was lighter. Kenny would flirt, Tweek would slap him away. They would joke and laugh and get off topic with wild schemes and plans of how to spend the money. Now, however, there was none of that. It was all business. Basically, it was awkward as fuck and it made Kenny’s heart sink down to somewhere near his feet. 

_Please, God, let things return to normal when we leave South Park._ Considering what they both were, though, perhaps it would be better if he prayed to Satan. 

“Let’s just go to the bar and, if they’re there we’ll play it by ear,” Kenny said finally. It was the best they were going to get. They may have gotten good at doing their ‘thing’ but this was unknown territory. This was something new and they weren’t exactly at their best right now. To be perfectly honest, Kenny was certain the whole thing was going to be a major flop.

Tweek nodded without looking at him. _Yup,_ Kenny thought, _it really was going to go balls up._

 

Arriving at Skeeters, Kenny had a sudden panic that Craig would be there. Had Tweek even considered that option or was he just so clued up on the noirette’s schedule that he hadn’t needed to even worry about that risk? Fortunately, as they stepped inside, it was Skeeter behind the bar. He gave them a dirty look and purposely turned away as they walked over to the bar. 

“Kenny!” Clyde was once again sitting alone in the drab bar but he brightened spectacularly as he spotted the blond. The immortal glanced at Tweek but he seemed determined to make it to the bar and sit down without acknowledging his partner in the slightest so Kenny stepped over to the brunet, giving him a wide smile. 

“How ya doing?” 

Clyde glanced nervously around the pub before answering. “Token’s coming home!” Clearly, he had been searching for Steve Black but, unfortunately for Kenny and Tweek, Steve and his friends were absent from the bar. 

“That’s great news, dude. You better talk to him!”

Clyde nodded, his eyes sparkling in determination. He only maintained it for a few seconds, however, before his face fell and he suddenly looked incredibly crestfallen. “What if he doesn’t feel the same?” he all but whimpered. 

“Then at least you tried.”

“And have _you_ tried?” His brown eyes flickered to Tweek, who sat staring at the bar fixedly, as if waiting for it to perform a trick. Apparently it was more than obvious from just a glance who held onto (and repeatedly crushed) his heart. 

“I’ve tried, dude,” Kenny said sadly. And then, because he remembered he was meant to be psyching Clyde up, he added, “Things are complicated but I’m not out of the race.” He hoped that was true. 

“I’m rooting for you, man!” Clyde said. Kenny wondered whether he would still be if he knew that the competition was his best friend. 

With a quick thanks and goodbye to Clyde, Kenny made his way over to Tweek who seemed unbothered by the fact that Skeeter was very obviously ignoring him. He was still staring down at the wooden bar, eyes set and jaw clenched. 

“You okay?” Kenny asked after a beat. Tweek nodded stiffly but didn’t speak. Well, wasn’t this just awkward as fuck? “So, they’re not here, huh? Wanna wait a little while?”

“If you ain’t gonna order then you can just geet out,” Skeeter said before Tweek could answer. Kenny raised his gaze to the larger man cooly. 

“I thought you were pretending we didn’t exist.”

“Money’s money. Even if it _does_ come from a couple a fags.” Kenny wondered whether he knew about his nephew. With how homophobic the guy appeared, he doubted it. He would have probably disowned the noirette had he known his preferences in the bedroom. He would have _definitely_ sacked him. While Skeeter didn’t have too much of a problem _taking_ money from ‘a couple of fags’ he doubted he would willingly dish out money to one, family or no. He glanced at Tweek again but, other than grinding his teeth together, the imp hadn’t reacted. 

It was a shame they weren’t targeting Skeeter, really. Kenny would get so much satisfaction from robbing the guy blind. Scaring him stupid, too, just because they could. It wasn’t too late to change strategy; maybe he should suggest it to the imp? Skeeter would definitely be easier to play. And, something told Kenny that the man would be too frightened of the idea of prison to refuse to pay up. And maybe, after he’d payed up, just before they left South Park for good, Kenny could even let the man spy him, freak him out all that little bit more. Give him nightmares for a while. It was certainly a wonderful thought. 

He was about to suggest leaving to Tweek, more than anything so that he could discuss his idea freely and away from prying ears, when the imp spoke up. He raised his gaze but not towards the immortal. “Give me a whiskey.” Kenny’s jaw dropped. Tweek didn’t really drink anything other than coffee, and he certainly didn’t drink whiskey. Even Skeeter looked a little surprised but he silently fulfilled the order, glowering all the while. Kenny was almost certain he overcharged Tweek as well, but the imp slid over a crisp note without complaint. 

They sat in silence as Tweek barely touched his drink. Kenny slipped the imp many glances from the corner of his eye but he never caught Tweek looking back at him. What had happened to them? Were they really broken beyond repair? It was such an absurd thought, one that he shouldn’t even humour and yet it seemed to be getting closer and closer to reality with each hour that ticked by that they remained in South Park. 

Blaming the town was easy. It was better than admitting that it was them at fault. 

“Show time,” Tweek said finally, after what felt like hours but was, in reality, probably only twenty minutes or so. The door to Skeeters bar had opened and three men had strolled in, casually chatting amongst themselves. The imp hadn’t even turned around to see them enter. He had just unexplainably, implicitly _known._

Tweek downed the last of his drink and turned, staring expectantly at Kenny who had absolutely no idea how he was meant to play the situation. It didn’t help that all he could think was _‘Fuck. If I screw this up it could be the end. Tweek might chose Craig and I might lose him forever.’_

And, unfortunately, forever was a damn long time.


	18. Show Time

“Ah, Kenny isn’t it?” Gerald Broflovski smiled not unkindly as the blond approached him.

“Impressive,” Kenny said lightly, “I sometimes forget my own cats name. Sometimes I even forget that I don’t own a cat.”

Randy Mash laughed loud at the poor joke and patted the empty chair beside him. “You’re gold, kid,” he said. “Join us.” Gerald and Steve shared a look but didn’t protest. Kenny slipped into the empty space and smiled at the older men as if he wasn’t panicking, his mind racing as he tried to think up some kind of plan. 

“Still in town then, I see,” Gerald said pleasantly, waving over Skeeter who seemed less than thrilled to be summoned. “Our usuals, please Skeeter. And whatever the kid’s drinking, too.” Grumbling under his breath, the chubby red head returned to the bar to fulfil their orders. 

“I was thinking about sticking around.” Kenny shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Seen something that takes your fancy, ay kid?” Randy laughed and nudged him in the ribs. The immortal could smell alcohol on the guy – apparently he had been pre-drinking before arriving at the bar. He seemed like the type who did a lot of ‘pre-drinking’. 

“Maybe,” Kenny replied slyly, pretending that he didn’t want to punch the drunk idiot for the overly enthusiastic ‘nudge’ and sleazy look plastered across his face. 

“If you’re referring to Marjorine, she’s a good kid but you need to watch out. Eric Cartman think’s he owns her,” Gerald told him. People kept warning Kenny about Eric Cartman but the immortal had yet to come face to face with the guy. He imagined it would be a pretty amusing exchange; perhaps he should hunt the guy down, introduce himself?

“So I’ve heard.”

“That kid comes with a lot of baggage,” Steve Black said, speaking up for the first time. “Steve Black.” He extended a hand, reminding Kenny that, as far as they were aware, he didn’t know any of them beside’s having briefly met Gerald. 

“Kenny McCormick.” Their drinks arrived then. Skeeter glared at Kenny as he thrust a beer in front of him, spilling it over the table as he slammed it down without grace. Kenny smiled pleasantly back at the asshole. 

“McCormick, huh?” Randy poked his chin, deep in thought. “You wouldn’t be related to Stuart would you?” 

Kenny frowned. “He’s my dad.” 

“Stuart McCormick, huh?” Gerald looked thoughtful. “How is the old man then?”

“You guys know him?” His dad had certainly never mentioned South Park before, and he hand’t gone to college, which would have been the other logical explanation. 

“Stuart grew up here. You didn’t know?”

“Clearly not,” Kenny said. It was news to him. Why did they just keep discovering more and more connections to South Park?

“Yeah. He was alright, your old man. Left town day of his eighteenth and never looked back. Heard he knocked up some girl shortly after. Um… your mom, I guess?” Well at least _that_ fit the story Kenny knew. Carol McCormick had gotten pregnant with his brother Kevin at a young age. Despite what they claimed, it had been unplanned. Kenny followed three years later, arriving into a household that could hardly support two adults, let alone two children. It had only gotten worse when Karen was born, though Kenny loved his little sister more than anything in the world. 

“Small world,” Kenny said, thinking furiously. Maybe their connection to his dad was something he could use. It was a shame they seemed to like him, if they’d have hated him he could have worked with that. 

“Mind you,” Randy said, budding Kenny’s hope. “The asswipe still owes me twenty bucks.” Never mind. Even Randy Marsh wouldn’t get pissed off enough to kill someone over twenty bucks. 

“Only twenty?” Gerald countered. “It’s got to be at least two hundred for me.”

“You can trust you’ll never see a dime of it, dude’s.” Kenny leaned back in his chair, threading his fingers together behind his head. “My family is poor as shit.” 

“Yes, well, Stuart never had much money,” Gerald said, taking a sip of his beer. “You’re lucky you weren’t around then, Steve. He’d have fleeced you.” 

“Sounds charming.” 

“You close, kid?” Randy asked. 

“He kicked me out.”

Randy laughed. “I’ll take that as a no then.” 

“Say, kid. Your friend can come join us if he wants, you know,” Gerald said, changing the subject as he glanced over at Tweek who sat at the bar, nursing another whiskey. Kenny wasn’t sure what had gotten into the imp and he wasn’t sure he liked it, either. 

“Uh, I’ll ask him.” Kenny stood abruptly, gave the three men a strained smile and hurried over to Tweek. “How many have you had?” he demanded as soon as he reached the small blond, leaning down to hiss in his ear. 

“Not really any of your business.”

“Right. _Fine._ Did you want to come over? They asked me to invite you.” 

“Sure, whatever.” Tweek downed his whiskey and signalled for another before he stood. If Skeeter hadn’t hated the pair, perhaps he would have told Tweek he’d had enough. Instead, he slipped him a double. Kenny scowled.

As they left the bar, Clyde beckoned them over. 

“What’re you doing, man?” the brunette hissed, glancing worriedly over at Steve Black as if he feared Kenny was spilling all his deep dark secrets. 

“Tweek’s a Lorde fan,” Kenny said, not missing a beat. The imp glared at him but didn’t bother to fight back. Instead, he took another swig of whiskey. He was definitely getting drunk. It made Kenny feel uneasy somehow. He’d never seen Tweek drunk before. The worst had been a caffeine high. “Just introducing him to his idol.” 

“Ah, I get that, bro.” Clyde seemed to relax. “I’ll let you get on. We should hang out again soon, though.”

“Definitely, dude. I’ll send you a text.”

“You still owe me my sunglasses.” Kenny nodded in agreement as if he had a clue where he’d put the damn things. He could worry about that later. For now, he herded Tweek over to the three men and sat him down, wishing the imp wasn’t holding onto his glass of whiskey for dear life so that he could sneak it away. 

“This is Tweek,” he told the three men. “You’ll have to excuse him, he’s a little drunk.”

“Sod off.”

“See?” Kenny threw his arm around Tweek’s shoulder and was greeted with an array of mixed feelings. On the one hand, he had Tweek pressed against him and that was _everything._ On the other, however, things were wrong between them. This whole exchange, Tweek being drunk, none of it was normal. None of it felt right. 

“So how’s the job hunt going, boys?” Gerald asked politely, though Kenny could see that he was started to regret inviting them over. Tweek’s unwavering glare probably had a lot to do with that. He wasn’t sure whether the imp was trying out some kind of approach or was just too drunk to care about their plan. The latter, probably. 

“Uh, not too great,” Kenny said, thinking fast. He’d forgotten that he’d claimed they’d arrived in South Park looking for work. 

“Yes, South Park probably wasn’t the best place to come in hopes of work,” Steve said. “Perhaps you’d be better looking around Denver? What sort of job are you after?” 

Kenny sank a little lower in his chair. He could lie, of course. He was an excellent liar, usually. Right now, though, Tweek was nudging him, probably trying to worm away from his hold, and it was doing nothing to sooth the fears that everything between them was wrong, wrong, _wrong._ What had they asked him again? Oh right… 

“Uh, just anything that pays, really.” He poked Tweek, trying to get the smaller blond to stop fidgeting. He moved his arm away anyway, wondering whether Tweek would have squirmed away from Craig Tucker if it had been _his_ arm wound around him.

“Ken’s a real whore, so maybe prostitution?” Four sets of eyes turned to look at the imp in disbelief. 

“Ah ha,” Kenny forced an awkward laugh. “He’s just joking.”

“Really? I thought you were telling me earlier all the things you’d like to do to Kyle Broflovski…” Tweek sounded so innocent as he said it. Kenny’s jaw dropped. He was pretty sure Tweek was playing some kind of game right now, but it wouldn’t work and he had no way of telling the imp that. For his part, Gerald did look furious but he was hardly going to kill Kenny over it. 

“He’s lying…” Kenny said uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure why he cared about how this scene was playing out. If they could only get together a little cash, they could leave South Park and never see the men again. Maybe the fact that they knew his father changed things, or maybe it was down to Kenny feeling almost at home in the quiet mountain town. He’d made friends, something he’d never done before and, yes, he still wanted to leave but he knew he’d be at least a little sad to never see Clyde and Marjorine again. They were good people and, without them, he’d have probably succumbed to depression the moment Tweek had admitted he had feelings for Craig Tucker. 

“I am, am I?” Tweek smirked and let just a little fire into his eyes, giving them a golden, devilish hue that sparkled mischievously. “What was that you said about his ass?” 

“Tweek, you’re drunk,” Kenny hissed.

“I’m just having fun. Say, any of you gentlemen married? Wives love me, y’know? Adorable, satisfying and far more exciting than their beer bellied, balding husbands; They just can’t seem to keep their hands off, you know what I’m saying?” He flashed a wicked grin at the three horrified men. Kenny was certain he saw flames flickering within his pupils. What the hell was the imp playing at?! Kenny stood abruptly.

“I think we should leave,” he said. 

“I think you should too,” Gerald said tightly. 

“What’s the matter Gerald? You worried Sheila might actually want me? I mean, why wouldn’t she, when compared to you?” He curled his lips in disgust. Kenny didn’t know when Tweek had researched the names of these men’s wives but he was playing a dangerous game and one that was far more likely to get him killed than Kenny. If Tweek got sent back to Hell there was a very big chance he wouldn’t be able to escape again. 

Gerald stood up abruptly, fury in his eyes. “Go,” he barked, hands curled into fists.

“Tweek!” Kenny yanked on the small blond’s arm, in an attempt to drag him away. Only Steve still looked rational out of the three men, trying and failing to calm his two, hot-headed friends. 

‘Oi!” Skeeter yelled across the bar, finally noticing the commotion. His yell drew the gazes of the other patrons. Clyde stared at Kenny with wide, concerned eyes. “I don’t want no trouble in ‘ere! Take it outside!” 

“We’re leaving,” Kenny yelled back. 

“And you can stay gone, too. Should have barred you fags from the get go. Nothin’ but trouble.” Kenny was too concerned with Tweek and his unexpected outburst to be angry. Not that he cared about the grimy old bar anyway. No. After what had just happened, he was planning to get the car and skip town with Tweek in tow. Coming to South Park had been a colossal mistake. It had been too much for Tweek to handle and Kenny had promised Satan that he would look out for the imp. Bloody good job he’d done so far… 

His blue eyes sought out Clyde, giving the brunet an apologetic smile and then he managed to drag Tweek away. Randy yelled drunken slurs at them as they left, but none of the men followed. 

“What the hell was that about?!” He demanded as soon as they were outside and out of view of the bar for fear that someone decided to follow them out. 

“Just trying to speed things up a bit seeing as you’ve done such a shit job yourself.”

“Oh, so I was just meant to ignore the fact that you’ve practically abandoned me for a piece of ass and still get the job done alone while you’re out having fun, huh?”

“Why not? Usually the other way ‘round.” The fire hadn’t extinguished from Tweek’s eyes. Although so much shorter than the immortal, he squared up to him, a dare across his face. 

“I’ve never – ” Kenny started but he couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. It wasn’t true. He left Tweek all the time so that he could hook up with strangers. The only difference was that he waited until the job was done. That, and he’d never developed feelings for anyone. Despite that, though, could he really blame Tweek? The imp had been in love with him but, because Kenny was a goddamn idiot, he’d been left time and time again with the knowledge that somebody else was touching Kenny the way only he should be allowed. It was no wonder he’d jumped ship and developed feelings for Craig. 

Kenny only caused him heartbreak. 

Kenny only ever made things worse for Tweek. 

Kenny was undoubtably the reason Tweek had gotten drunk and had that out of character outburst in the first place. 

“Maybe _you_ shouldn’t leave South Park,” Kenny said quietly, barely able to keep eye contact as he realised that what he was saying was for the best. The fire in Tweek’s eyes extinguished and he seemed to deflate, becoming even smaller. “I only hurt you, Tweek. I only drag you down to my level. You deserve better. You… I – ” He couldn’t finish that sentence. He didn’t know how. All he knew was it was true.

Perhaps coming to South Park hadn’t ruined things after all? Perhaps all it had done was open their eyes to truths they were avoiding. 

They weren’t good for each other. All they ever did was hurt one another. 

Kenny didn’t care about himself but he didn’t want Tweek to hurt anymore. And, judging by his little outburst, Tweek was hurting a whole damn lot. He had promised Satan he would look out for Tweek and, right now, the best way he could think to do that was to leave. 

“What about you?” 

“I’ll be alright.” He reached out and ruffled Tweek’s hair, turning the already unruly locks wild. “Stay out of trouble, okay?”

With that, Kenny flipped up the hood of his parka, shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away. Tweek stared after him in disbelief, words failing him as his hazy, whiskey-influenced mind tried and failed miserably to piece together what on earth had just happened. 

All he knew for certain was that he had screwed up and now Kenny was… 

_Gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you haven’t guessed from that mess, I still haven’t gotten my motivation back for this fic. Sorry.


End file.
